"Why are you still awake?" Ate Salisha asked when she saw me standing near the veranda.
I looked at the sky. I can't see any stars tonight. It's just darkness, which is all I can see. It didn't help with what I'm feeling at the moment. Hindi ko alam kung paano ikakalma ang sarili sa emosyong hindi ko mapangalanan.
"I can't sleep, ate." I simply replied.
I felt her stand next to me. The cold wind blew through my hair. I shivered.
I feel so empty and numb on the inside.
"How's architecture, ate?" I asked.
"Tiring," she said.
I smiled bitterly. She never wanted to pursue architecture. When we were young, she's often asked what her dream was, and she will always answered that she would be a doctor someday. But because our father is an architect, she followed his path. Not because she wants to, but because she has to. She was left with no choice.
"I hope you're happy, ate." I whispered.
I hope you're not like me, who's just barely existing.
Nilingon nya ako. "I hope so too." she uttered.
Napayuko ako. Ang hirap naman.
I don't know how long it'll take to get better.
"How's your grades, Ingrid? Are you failing again?" my father asked critically.
Nabitin sa ere ang pagsubo ko. And just like magic nawalan na ako ng gana. Binaba ko ang kutsara at sinalubong ang galit nyang mga mata.
"No, dad. My grades are fine." I said.
He scoffed and chuckled with so much sarcasm.
I pursued my lips. "Really, iha? Do not embarrass me again. D'yan kana lang babawi sa mga ginawa mong kapalpakan." kalmado nyang sinabi ngunit may pagbabanta roon.
I shook my head and stare at my plate na hindi ko na magalaw.
In the end, I just gave him a nod.
Ate Lallaine was silent beside me, but I could feel her coldness. She's not liking our father's choice of words. So I looked at her and smiled to assure her that it was okay.
"Your birthday is coming. Any plans?" Dad asked, which made me shift in my seat.
He knew?
Nagtangka akong sumagot ngunit wala akong maisip na sasabihin kaya sa huli ay umiling na lang ako.
"You don't want to celebrate?" he asked calmly.
Wow. This is new. Kailan pa sya nagkainteres sa araw na 'yon? Why would he care if I wanted to celebrate or not? Because the last time I checked, he doesn't give a damn.
"There's no need for that, dad." mahinang sagot ko.
His eyes flashed something I couldn't name. He looked mad, but he became serious afterwards.
"We'll celebrate your birthday, Ingrid. Invite your friends. I'll arrange it," he shockingly said.
My lips parted.
Did I hear him right?
I was stunned; I couldn't process what he said.
Tumayo sya at walang pasabing umalis sa dining. Lumapit din agad ang kanyang sekretarya at inabot ang cellphone nya. Mukhang tungkol sa trabaho.
I blinked, and my eyes followed my father until he was out of my sight.
"Is he serious?" bulong ko sa sarili. Hindi pa rin makapaniwala sa inakto ng ama.
