A Nerd Hurts a Bully

27

MANUEL

I thought about what Liam said. "Some people take out their anger by doing the same thing their perpetrator did to them." I decided I was going to visit my brother in Juvenile. He's going to prison once he hits 18.

I got into the car, rethinking my decisions. Do I really want to do this? I started my car. I was going to do this. I needed to. And who knows, maybe it will help the trial. I wasn't going to tell my friends, especially Zach. I would lose them again. And then it will be a process all over again. I couldn't tell my mother either. She would hate me. Everyone would. "Oh look it's the guy that was talking to his RAPIST brother." I'm not going to tell anyone. I'm not trying to fuck things up.

When I arrived in the juvenile detention, they made me surrender my devices. They told me to wait while they get Max out of his cell.

Finally, Max came out. He didn't look nerdy anymore. He looked like a kid that was traumatized for most of his life. He looks like the kid that nobody talks to. He looks like the kid that just wants to end it all. We really are related, I guess.

"Hey." I muttered. He didn't say anything. "Are you going to talk or what?" I asked. "What are you doing here. Go abandon me like everyone else." Max said. "We both know why everyone abandoned you." I said. "Nobody knows why I did it." He muttered. "There is no logical reason to fucking rape somebody, Max." I said angrily.

"I know." Max said. "So why did you fucking do it? Why did you fucking RAPE my friend?" I yelled. "BECAUSE DAD AND HIS FRIENDS FORCED ME TO! OKAY? ARE YOU HAPPY?" Max yelled. The guards came closer, just in case anything would happen. "What do you mean?" I asked. Max started crying.

"I did it because dad and his friends forced me to...I'm sorry. I would do anything just for everyone to forgive me. But that's not going to happen. You don't understand. He said he will kill me, the victim, you, your friends, and your mom if I didn't do it. And you know what dad is capable of. He also said that if I didn't do it, he would torture me, let his friends touch me wherever, and sell me to other people . I couldn't let that happen to me again, Manuel. I really couldn't. So please, I didn't do it because I hated Zach. I did it to protect people. But that backfired. I shouldn't have done it, I know. But know the consequences if I didn't." Max said.

That was a lot to take in. "What do you mean "again," Max?" I asked. "He would torture me and let his friends touch me. Sometimes they would gang-rape me, but that's whatever. Can we be done with this?" Max said. "Sure, time is almost up anyway." I said. "Bye, Manuel. Don't be surprised if I end up dead within 72 hours. Killed or not. If I do end up dead, please leave
dad locked up in jail forever. I told you everything I could tell you. And tell Zach and everyone else that I'm sorry for everything I did. Please? I wish them the best in life." Max said.

"Yeah, I'll tell them that." I said. "But, you might have to testify for trial. It's in 2 weeks." I said. "That's only if I'm not dead." Max said while the guard escorts him out.

I know he is a rapist, but he's also my brother. My own blood. He had a reason, and it wasn't that stupid. As his brother, I will say that I do sort of feel bad for him. I was going to make a decision that I didn't want to make. I had to go talk to my father.

I drove to the maximum security prison. The guard led me to my dad, who looked like he was angry at me.

"What the fuck do you want, Manuel?" My dad said. I couldn't speak. This was a bad idea. "HUH? WHAT IS IT?" My dad yelled. The guards eyed him. I flinched. Luckily, he had handcuffs so he couldn't hurt me. "I'm sorry, dad." I said. "You should be. You ruined my whole reputation. You shouldn't have said anything. Remember the game? One of the rules were not to tell a soul." My dad said. He acted like I was still 6. "It's not my fault. I didn't say anything. Someone recorded you doing whatever to me. It's not my fault, dad, I swear." I said.

He just looked at me and chuckled. "Someone needed to be a little quieter." My dad said. I was uncomfortable after he said that. I was fidgeting around. It was awkward and I couldn't look at him in the eye. He laughed. "Oh, so you can't look me in the eye anymore like you used to?" My dad said.

I just looked at him blankly. "Mom is taking you to court." I said. "Of course she is. I have a good lawyer, you guys probably can't even afford a bad lawyer." My dad said. "We have a lawyer." I said. "Plus, you will probably lose the case. They have proof and witnesses." I said, scared that my dad will hurt me.

"What did you say you little bitch? Did you just talk back?" My dad said angrily. I realized what I said. I shouldn't have said anything. He tried to get up and hurt me. I flinched. The guards told me that time is almost up. "Okay, dad. Bye. I love you, even if you hurt me." I said. My dad looked like he didn't care, but am I surprised?

All my life, every wish I made when I blew out the candle on my birthday was for my dad to love me like a son, not a toy. I would see other people with their dads, having a good time. I always admired how their dad's type of "fun" wasn't on the bed. But not my dad. I remember always crying on Father's Day at school because they had all the fathers come to the school so they can see what their kids are doing. I would be the only one without my father by my side.

I remember being on the swings and seeing people with their dads playing on the playground. I remember seeing people eating with their fathers. I remember seeing people taking cute selfies with their fathers. My mother was always at work. I remember seeing little boys shopping with their mothers. All of these activities? The only thing I can say is...

"I wish."