A Nerd Hurts a Bully

19

MANUEL

"Manuel!" My mom yelled out. "Yes, ma?" I said. "Let me see your arms." She said. I froze. I didn't know what to say. "Please, baby. Let me see your arms." My mom said. I didn't respond. I just stared at her. "There is nothing there, ma." I said. "Then it should be no big deal showing your arms, right?" She said.

My mom grabbed my arm and rolled up my sleeve. I tried to resist, but my mom saw it anyway. "I swear I stopped, ma." I said. My mom started crying. "I don't want you to cry, mom." I said while choking on my tears. "Oh my gosh, honey. Of course I'm going to cry! This is my fault. I should have known sooner." She said. "I'm sorry, mom." I said. "No, baby. I'm sorry." She said.

"It's alright, ma. I love you regardless." I said. "I love you more." She said. "I will get you the help you need." She said. "I actually wanted to talk to you about getting a therapist and going to the guidance counselor in school whenever you need to." She said. "I don't know yet. Everything is going so fast." I said. "That's okay, no rush at all." She said. "When are you taking dad to court?" I asked. "Soon." She said.

"Manuel!" My mom yelled. "Yes, mom?" I said. "How would you feel if we took a vacation with your friends? Spring break is in a week." She said. "To where?" I asked. "New York City." She said. "No it's okay, ma. I don't want you to spend too much money on me." I said.

"Oh please, baby! I would spend 100,000 bucks on you if I had to!" She said. "Please. It could be just you and me if you want. I just want to spend time with you." Mom said. "Okay. Just you and me. I need an escape anyway." I said. "We all do" my mom said.

Like I said before, me and my mom are like twins. When she gave birth to me, my dad left soon after. I'm her only child, but who knows what will happen in the future. She's still young. I am really protective of my mother. I don't want her to date anyone because I'm scared she will become pregnant.

If she gets pregnant, all her attention is on the baby instead of me. I know that I'm a bit selfish but you don't understand. All my life, my mom's attention was always on me, nobody else. If she gets a baby, her lack of attention on me might make me go in deep depression.

***
THURSDAY (MANUEL)

I had a day off from school yesterday. Now I have to go back to school. I haven't drove my car since I went to my dads house. I decided to drive to school because I didn't want to disturb my mom sleeping and I do not want to go on the bus.

I was in the parking lot getting my things for school. Just as I got everything I needed, I got slammed on my car door. It was the guys that took me to their house and assaulted me in any way possible. "WE ARE IN TROUBLE BECAUSE OF YOU. YOU'RE PRESSING CHARGES?" One of the boys said. I was in shock so I didn't respond. One of the boys started punching me.

"WE TOLD YOU TO STAY QUIET, DIDN'T WE?" one of the boys said. I didn't say anything. "You aren't going to say anything, fuckboy?" One of the boys said. One of the boys pulled out a knife. That's when I got scared. Sure, I was suicidal. But if I was going to get killed, I would want to do it myself. "Wait! Don't kill me, please. I'll do anything. Anything you want just don't hurt me or anyone else." I said. "Anything? Ha! Bullshit." The boy with the knife said, as he was getting closer.

"Wait. Bring him to the car, I'm getting horny anyway. Let's skip school. Drive him to mines." One of the boys said. Now, I should have just got killed. I do not want to get raped again. They already did so much damage. "W-wait! What do you mean? Please I don't want sex." I said. "Now, it's not a choice." The boy said. "Or else, you know what happens." The boy with the knife said.

"You're good!" The boy that raped me said while laughing. I had nothing on except my underwear and tank top. I couldn't feel anything. The boy went to go eat. He told me not to go anywhere or else he will kill me. He said me and him will have a second round then I can go.

I was frozen and afraid. I literally could not move anything. I just sat there, thinking about my mother. My mom said it will be alright. I started to get mad at the thought of her lying to me. I got a text from my friends.

B: Manuel where are you? You're not in school
N: yeah where r u
Z: are u ok?
W: let us know ASAP

The truth is, I'm obviously not okay. I don't understand why people want to do this to me. Sometimes I ask myself "Why me?" "What did I do so wrong?" But I never will get the answer. I started to wonder why my mom hasn't texted me yet. Isn't she worried? Hasn't the school called her? Maybe she's at work? I thought she was off today? All these unanswered questions were bothering me. I had to text her.

M: hey ma
read 1:53pm

She left me on read. I couldn't believe it. When I needed her? I got so mad, I started crying. I really needed her right now. Then, the boy showed up. I quickly wiped my tears. I saw the same whip they used last time. I think it still has my blood on it. I was extremely scared.

I need you right now, ma.