Touching Shadows

A wild return

COHEN

I drove up the driveway and turned the car off. It had been years since I had been here, but it was more or less the same as the last time I had stayed here.

The log cabin was surrounded by bush, but sat in a little clearing. The floor around it was covered in dried leaves, and the slate roof had moss growing over it. I got out of the car and grabbed my bag, before walking up to the front door.

I kicked the fallen leaves off the front step, then dug the key out of my back pocket and unlocked the large padlock hanging from the door. Walking across the threshold, I dumped my bag on the couch, then looked around.

The wooden kitchen was tucked in the corner of the cabin, but the bedroom and lounge was all open-planned, with high ceilings and wooden beams on show. There was dust everywhere, plus some impressive cobwebs, and it was cold. The sun hadn't risen high enough to warm up the inside of the cabin yet.

I knew I would be spending the day getting firewood, sourcing drinking water, and cleaning up to make this place more comfortable. I'd brought some basic supplies, but tomorrow I would have to think about finding some food sources.

I set about cleaning up, putting some clean sheets on the bed, getting rid of cobwebs, and wiping down the layer of dust on everything. After a good hour of work, I looked around. The sun had reached above the treeline, and was shining through the window. I set down my cloth and tracked down the old water bucket from under the sink. I went outside and followed the winding path down to the waters edge.

The view opened up before me. The dark, still lake, the mountains and dense woods along the shoreline. I took a deep breath in the wild land I was immersed in.

No matter how much shit I was wading through, this was one thing that never changed.

So many of my memories were here.

This was the one place where I always knew who I was.

I spent a few minutes just standing there, feeling the sun on my face and enjoying the view and fresh air, before filling my bucket with ice cold water and heading back to the cabin.

The rest of the afternoon disappeared slowly and quietly, and as the sun went down I had time to think for the first time. Instead of working through my checklist of things I needed to get done, I could sit with myself and my feelings. This is why I had come here in the first place.

To think. To stop drinking to forget, and make myself face some hard truths. It was time to remember who I was. And to figure out what I wanted.

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AUDREY

"It's been almost two months, Jem. I dont like my chances."

"Sounds like you're giving up, Aud."

I sighed and ran my hands through my long, wild hair.

"I just feel like I'm in limbo. Waiting for him to tell me to move on, or that he wants me as much as I want him."

"I get it, I really do."

"I haven't heard from him once, Jem. What if I don't, and I'm just here pining away for someone who's forgotten me?"