Touching Shadows

Withholding

AUDREY

That night, over a tub of icecream, Jem scoured the internet for information. Cohen, or CJ, as he was better known, was easy to find once you knew who he really was. What we had discovered out so far was devastating and confusing.

Jemima had my laptop open on her lap, and was on a mission to find answers.

"He's been married for 7 years Audrey! His wife, this Brittany woman, says he's been physically and verbally abusing her for the last 2 years. Listen to this..."

She scrolled down the page.

"I would confront him about the latest woman he had been with. He would get defensive, and tell me I was stupid for thinking he would cheat. But then one day I saw him with one of them when I came home early, and hit me for the first time after she left. I used makeup to cover the bruises, and I kept quiet. It was humiliating and I barely believed it was happening. I stopped confronting him after that, but the violence didn't stop. He was drinking in excess. Last month, after a particularly bad altercation, I decided I couldn't stand by my husband any longer. He wasn't the man I married. I was afraid for my life, so I left."

I felt bile rise up in my throat. I must be living in a nightmare. How is this man the same one I thought I knew?

"And look at her, Audrey!"

She turned the screen around and showed me a photo of his wife. She was absolutely stunning.

Blonde, tall and statuesque. Tanned and toned. Gorgeous blue eyes. Curves galore. The total opposite of freckly, petite, redheaded, awkward me.

"She's like a goddess!"

"I know! It says she's an international model too!"

Of course she is.

"I really didn't think another man could top Jacob's prick move, but Cohen has gone above and beyond. What am I going to do Jem? If my parents see the paper, they'll disown me."

Jemima waved her hand dismissively.

"Honey, it isn't that bad. That picture doesn't show anything scandalous. The media is obviously grasping at straws for a story about him, and you just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Plus if your Mama starts on you, you can always enlighten her on the real story behind your breakup with Jacob as a distraction. And if even that fails, you have plausible deniability."

"I guess so. I mean I didn't know he was a famous soccer player, let alone a married, violent adulterer!"

I took a big sip of my wine, hoping to quash the rising need to vomit.

"Alleged violent adulterer."

Jem put my laptop away, and grabbed my hand, squeezing.

She was always the first one to jump to conclusions and I was the level-headed one. Somehow we had switched places, and she was talking me down with that simple word.

I sighed, then nodded.

"Yes... alleged."

"Have you tried calling him, Aud?"

While I waited for Jem to arrive, I had dialed his number. It rang straight through to voice message, which at the time made me even more angry. He was hiding from me! Now I thought about it further, if the media had finally discovered where I was working and 'hiding out', I'd have my phone off too.

I nodded in response to her question.

"No answer."

"Maybe you should just go over to his house? It's not fair to keep you in the dark. You shouldn't have to get your answers from the media."