Touching Shadows

The car in the driveway

COHEN

The astringent mouthful of whiskey was the delay I needed to prepare myself for what I was about to do.

I watched Audrey try to work out whether to stay and hear me out, or walk out on me. I had never seen her this angry before, her cheeks the same colour as her fiery hair.

Finally she sat at the other end of the couch and tucked herself up into a ball, arms crossed across her chest. Protective of herself, and closed off.

"Ok, I'm listening."

I nodded, and took a moment to work out how to start. Where to start.

"Brittany and I met in school. She had no idea I existed, but the first time I saw her I was hooked. We were 16, and I was determined to make her notice me."

"I won't bore you with the details, but it took me a full year to convince her to date me. She was worth it. She was so confident, beautiful, the popular girl...you know the type. But she was also down to earth, and so fun to be around. She had big dreams, and she was so determined to do something with her life, I just wanted to go along with her for the ride. When she finally said yes to me, I was expecting a film crew to jump out and tell me I was getting punk'd. But it didn't happen."

"We were together 8 years before we got married. I eventually got drafted to an elite soccer team, which was a huge deal for me. Brittany got signed to a modelling agency and was doing really well. We were living our dreams finally. We were happy."

"Britt was approached to do a reality tv show a few years after we got married. One of those stupid 'behind the scenes' of the celebrity couple things. I wasn't keen, but Britt was thrilled. Her modelling career was really taking off, and she was travelling a lot internationally. She told me that if she could get into tv, that she would have a backup when she was too old for the catwalk. She was so excited about it, so I said yes. I could never say no to her, and she knew it."

I paused and took another drink. I didn't look up at Audrey. I didn't want to stop this story now that I started it. I had to get it out.

"She was spending a lot of time on set and away for her international contracts. I was busy with my own career. We weren't getting the time together that I wanted, but she seemed happy. We still spoke regularly, and had weekends away when she wasn't out of the country. I knew it wouldn't be forever, so I kept my mouth shut and continued to support her."

I felt Audreys gaze on me, and looked up. Her eyes held a question she wasn't sure she wanted to ask.

"Something happened, didn't it?"

I nodded.

"I was meant to be in Seattle for a big soccer match, but I'd injured myself in practice and wasn't going to be playing. Normally I'd stay and sit on the sidelines, but it was Brittanys birthday the week before and we both had work commitments, so didn't get to see her. I begged to go home and the coach let me. I wanted to surprise her."

I repositioned myself on the couch, and faced Audrey for the first time since I had begun.

"I got home and found a car I recognised in the driveway."

She didn't say anything, but she was sitting up straighter. Paying full attention. She knew what came next.

"I found her fucking him in our bed. My best friend from college, who I had played on the same team with for years. I was his best man at his wedding, and he was mine. And she chose him, of all people, to cheat on me with."

Audrey swallowed hard, and shook her head almost imperceptibly. The anger had gone from her eyes now, but I didn't like what I saw there in it's place.

Pity.

"What did you do?"

My breath caught as I released it slowly.

"She heard me when I punched a hole in the bedroom wall. She started with all the excuses. She missed me. She was lonely. She needed and deserved more. But all I could see was red."

"I hit Jordan more times then I could count. I was so angry. I can't remember much of what happened then, but Brittany managed to stop me before I killed him."

"I do remember saying I was going to tell his wife about them. Then I left. I didn't lay a hand on Brittany. I have never hurt her, Red. Never."

I looked at her to make sure she saw the truth in my eyes. She nodded.

"I went straight to a bar and drank myself into a stupor. The next day I woke up in a shítty motel room. I checked the time on my phone and saw I had hundreds of missed calls from my friends, family and the execs at Jaguar Sport."

"A news story had broken. They were saying that I was a drunk, that Brittany had found me with multiple different women, and that I physically assaulted her."

"Did she...?", Audrey asked quietly.

"Yes. As far as I know, it was her idea. She chose her career over our relationship, again. She and Jordan decided to speak out against me first, in case my threat to tell his wife was real. The more people that knew what I had walked in on, the harder it was to control the narrative, I guess."

"She knew it would ruin me, and she did it anyway. I was dropped from the Jaguars. They have a no violence policy. It didn't matter that it was untrue. The accusation was enough. My sponsors pulled out. My friends distanced themselves from me. I had nothing left."

The next few months were a haze. I drank myself into a hole. Gerry came across me in a bar in the city one afternoon. Pure coincidence. He was my dads mate... had known me since I was kid. He knew I would never treat any woman like they said I had. My dad would have beat me black and blue if I did. He set me up with the teaching job and found me this place. He gave me a chance, when no one else would have anything to do with me."

I rubbed my hands over the stubble on my face. I must look a right mess.

"And Brittany?"

"Still going along with the battered woman charade. Her career has never been better. She has an amazing backstory for her new strong, take-no-shit persona now. She started trying to contact me again a few weeks ago. I heard that Jordan and his wife had moved to Chicago, which is probably why. She's alone again."

"Anyway, that's pretty much the whole thing. I got fucked over royally by everyone I thought I could trust. I lost my wife, my best mate and my career all in one day. And I still don't understand why."

I poured myself another drink. I couldn't look her in the eye. Having never telling anyone the full story before, I felt raw and way too exposed. I took a mouthful and atared at the floor.

Finally I heard her move. She knelt at my feet and made me meet her gaze. Those dark blue eyes studied my brown ones intently. And she said the words I was so desperate to hear.

"Cohen, I believe you."

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Anyone else want to give Cohen a big hug?

Bronwyn xx