Chapter 39

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~JJ's pov~

"We're here" said Kie suddenly moving further from me.

Sarah quickly approached us followed by John B, Cleo and Pope.

Pope.

What the hell did I do.

I shouldn't have kissed her. Not when Pope already told me he still likes her.

What the hell did I do.

"We've been looking for you both everywhere" Sarah said.

"And for the Twinkie" John B added.

"Where have you been?" Pope asked looking at me but I moved my look away.

"On a walk" Kie said.

"You're not supposed to walk" Sarah said turning towards Kie and moving one of her hands around her neck but stopped as soon as she saw her hand. "What happend?"

She went silent for a second and looked at me but I couldn't even focus on what was going on.

"I teached her how to properly punch" I finally said.

"You can learn that when you're not hurt" Sarah said helping Kie get into the backseat of the Twinkie.

I stood there just looking at her. All I wanted to do was kiss her again but I couldn't. Not when Pope loved her.

"You coming?" I heard Pope's voice from next to me.

I just nodded and moved in front of the Twinkie next to John B. I didn't say anything for the rest of the road and neither did Kie.

As soon as we got down she was helped by Sarah and Cleo to get to her room while John B was opening the doors for them.

I went in the Chateau as soon as I could so I wouldn't have to talk with Pope. I couldn't even look at him without feeling guilty.

I needed to tell Kie that me and her can't happen. But I also couldn't say that. But I had to.

But I love her.

I went towards the room where Sarah and Kie were heading. I stayed in front of the door without knowing if I should or shouldn't enter. Suddenly the door opened and Sarah was staying in the doorframe ready to leave the room.

She gave me a small look like she was telling me to get inside and went past me. Before I could even think of walking away Kie yelled after me.

"JJ, can we talk?" she said.

I didn't say anything, I just went inside, making sure I locked the door behind me. Kie was standing on the bed with a pillow behind her back and a small compress with water on her knuckles.

I sat on the bed, in front of her, and waited for her to say anything but she didn't. She looked down at her hands that were forcely moving with eachother, like she always does when she's nervous or stressed.

"Look it was a mistake, I'm sorry for kissing you" I said breaking the silence.

She didn't say anything for a few seconds that felt like hours.

"I'm happy you feel the same way, I was worried it was gonna ruin our friendship" she said giving me a small smile even if she didn't seem like she meant it but it probably was cause she was tired.

I looked at her and I wanted to kiss her.

I wanted to kiss her so much but I couldn't.

We stayed there in silence again for what felt like hours until I spoke again.

"How's your hand?" I asked.

She looked at me confused for a second like I just snapped her out of her thoughts but then finally relaised what I'm talking about.

"It's better" she said taking off the compress to take a look at her knuckles. "But I don't think I'm planning on punching someone anytime soon" she joked.

"What about the wound" I asked.

"It's fine" she lied without giving me too many datails.

We stayed there in silence again and the only thing I could think about was the way her lips felt on mine. But I still couldn't kiss her.

"I think I'm gonna head to bed" I said getting up and leaving towards the door.

"Night" she said giving me another small smile before I opened the door.

"Night Kie" I said.

I made my way towards the couch, noticing that no one else apart from John B was still awake. Cleo was sleeping on an armchair while Sarah was laying on the couch.

"Where's Pope?" I asked.

"Home, his dad needs him tomorrow morning" he said.

We stayed in silence but for some reason I felt like he was waiting for me to say something.

"So are you gonna tell me or I have to ask you?" he suddenly said but not loud enough for Sarah and Cleo to wake up.

"Tell you what?"

"About what happened with you and Kie, it's obvious that something happened" he said.

"Nothing happened" I said trying to play it off but it didn't work.

"I know you since forever JJ, you can't lie to me" he said.

"We just kissed but we decided not to tell anyone or make a big deal out of it, it was just a kiss" I said and he didn't even seem surprised.

"Just a kiss?" he asked raising an eyebrow at me.

"Yes, just a kiss, neither of us feels anything more than friendship for eachother" I said.

"That's the biggest bullshit I ever heard, it's obvious that you both are in love with eachother" he said.

"Even if it was, there's Pope" I started but he intrerupted me.

"Pope will be fine and I'm sure he'll be happy for both of you" he said.

"Still she doesn't feels the same way, when I told her that it was a mkstake she agreed and said that she wanted to tell me this too" I said.

"I've never saw you like this with anyone before JJ, it's obvious you love her" he said but I got up and moved towards the door.

"Forget it John B, when did I ever actually had a relationship anyway? It wouldn't work out" I said before opening the door and moving towards the hammock.

I got into the hammock and tried to look towards the room where Kie was in but the lights were closed.

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't be with her. And I really want to be with her.

I wanted to kiss her, and hug her and hold her every night before she's falling asleep. I wanted to wake up with her next to me and see her beautiful smile. I wanted to play with her curly hair and even hear her getting annoyed cause of it.

But this could never be possible because apparently love isn't for everyone, especially not for me.

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