The Grumpy Sunshine Series

The Parachute Problem

Originally Posted: 03/08/2022

"Replace the parachutes. Replace the parachutes- I always say replace the parachutes, but does anyone listen to me? No!" Sam rambles, holding his damaged wing in his lap. It had been exactly thirty seconds since Steve told you that you had about a minute before the last remaining engine on the jet failed. So you had 30 seconds before you the jet went down in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Sam took this chance to scold the unknown person who didn't replace the parachute packs.

"Will you shut up?" Bucky groans, standing over Steve who's trying to keep you all from falling to your deaths, but it wasn't looking good for you four. He'd alerted FRIDAY to their situation, but help wouldn't be coming before they crash landed.

"And why- why are there only non-flying Avengers here on this mission?" Sam continued as if Bucky hadn't just spoken.

"It's not our fault your wing got messed up," Bucky scoffs.

"Hmm...I can't necessarily fly, but I can fall with style," you interject before Sam can continue bickering with Bucky, tying a rope around your waist.

"Fall with style?" Steve asks over his shoulder.

"She does her woosh woosh thing," Sam explains, making dramatic gestures for emphasis. "And she falls to the ground a lot slower. But we wouldn't have to worry about that if we'd restocked the damned parachutes."

"Okay- not helping. We've got about 30 seconds before we all die in crash landing in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, so if someone has any helpful solutions, now would be the time," Bucky rambles, eyes narrowed at Sam.

"Steve, can the jet float?" you offhandedly ask.

"Uh, not sure. Why?"

"Hold this," you tell Bucky, handing him the other end of the rope. "And everyone else, maybe find something to hold on to."

Bucky grabs the rope without hesitation, "What are you doing?"

"Making sure we don't all die in a plane crash," you state, pressing the button to open the back hatch of the jet. "Just, you know, don't let me fall."

All the wind and pressure from the plane swirl around you, but you shakily make your way to the very edge of the door. You take a seat, sitting with your legs criss-crossed, and close your eyes. With a deep breath, you feel the air swirl around you and put all your concentration in making sure that you don't crash- or at least crash sort of softly.

"Okay, we're falling a lot slower now," Steve announces. "That's good. You're doing great."

"This wouldn't have happened if people would remember to restock the parachutes," Sam continued ranting.

"Will you shut up?" Bucky barks. "No one cares about the stupid parachutes."

"Why don't you shut up?" Sam retorts.

"Go to your happy place," you whisper to yourself. "Just go to your happy place. You are not responsible for all of your friend's lives. You do not hold the fate of everyone on this plane in your hands."

"I'm going to throw you out of this plane," Bucky threatens.

You squeeze your eyes shut as you start humming to yourself, trying to coax yourself back into a relaxed state.

"And if I throw you out first?" Sam counters.

"Will you both shut up?" Steve orders as the plane jolts, throwing all three men off balance.

"You guys are making it very hard to be in my happy place," you shout to the men in the back. "In my happy place. In my happy place," you continue quietly chanting.

"See what you did," Bucky quietly hisses, finally taking a seat as he tightly grips the rope.

"We wouldn't be in this mess if you would just restock the parachutes. I know it was you!" Sam accuses, poking a finger into Bucky's chest.

"What good would a parachute even be when we're in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, Sam?" Bucky shouts. "There's not a coast anywhere in sight, you idiot."

"I say this with all the love and affection in the world- Shut up!" you snap, the plane jolting downward again.

"Great, you got her mad," Bucky huffs, holding onto your tether and his seat for dear life.

"Guess we're about to find out if this thing floats," Steve cringes, keeping the plane level as the jet looms just over the water.

"And we all know how great Steve is at water landings!" Sam cries, throwing his arms around Bucky in fear.

"Get off of me," Bucky fumes, shoving Sam away and still clinging to the rope as you all brace for impact.

-

"That wasn't as bad as I thought. You're getting better at your water landings, Steve," Sam praises. Steve simply shakes his head, ignoring Sam entirely.

"So...jets don't float," you add after a few moments of awkward silence, trying to diffuse the tension as the four of you sit in the small life raft waiting for help to arrive. "At least we had a raft!"

"I still say we give ourselves more room and throw Sam into the ocean," Bucky grumbles, still glaring at Sam.