female celebrity comfort stories

late night writing | taylor swift

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i was sat at the grand piano. there were so many thoughts running through my head and i needed a way to put them words, and so i did, in a song. dysphoria was all i could feel, like the body i'm in isn't actually mine. i just feel like tearing it to shreds.

i felt like the walls were closing in on me, slowly. there was so much pressure on my chest, almost as if there was someone sat on it. i had spent the last hour staring in the mirror. my hips looked too wide, my chest wasn't flat enough, i was too short to pass as non binary.

as soon as i sat down at the piano the words just came spilling out. it was so easy. i felt so relieved. like a small bit of that weight was lifted off my chest. my fingers hovering over the keys i started to play.

Staring at my ceilin'
Convince myself it's nothin'
Pray to God to fix me
Feeling guilty havin' thoughts at 12 years oldIs mama gonna like this? (Ah-ah)
I'm riskin' her of grandkids (ah-ah)
Seven years of fighting, and I don't wanna fight no more (ah-ah)So I wanna let it out
Wasn't ready then
But I'm ready nowI want my friends to know me
Like, really, really know me
I hope this doesn't change things, ooh, yeahThey say that boys don't cry
But newsflash, that's a lie
I don't fit inside your boxes, I can't stop this, noSo I'm counting down
Unlock my cell
And come on outOh, my, beautiful bliss
I'm so foreign to this
Tell you what my walls know
Here's my first helloOh, my, such a relief
I can be me
I don't put on no show
It's my first hello (oh)It's my first hello
(Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh)All that I said, all that I did
I learned to lock my thoughts up carefully
I held my breath, I broke my heart
I bit my tongue, it starts to bleedAnd I, I hope you know that it's not your fault
Hope my father understands
I'm not any less a man, mmmOh, my, beautiful bliss
I'm so foreign to this
Tell you what my walls know
Here's my first helloOh, my, such a relief
I can be me
I don't put on no show
It's my first hello (oh)It's my first hello
(Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh)I wanna let it out
Wasn't ready then
But I'm ready now

as soon as i played the last key i just began sobbing. i just couldn't contain it anymore. i felt a pair of arms wrap around my torso, it was momma. her chin resting on my head as she held me tight, applying a lot of pressure. it felt nice, almost warm and comforting in a way that nothing else could compare to.

she rubbed my back slowly as she sat next to me on the piano stool. "it's okay, you're okay". once my tears reduced to sniffles we just sat there in a comfortable silence, just appreciating each others presence. her soft words eventually broke the silence, "that was beautiful baby". i dug my head further into her shoulder, "thanks momma". with a kiss on my head i felt her arms go under my legs picking me up swiftly (pun intended). i just hid my face in her neck until we reached my room. she gently placed me down on the bed and climbed right in next to me understanding that i was in desperate need of a good cuddle.

i heard the door push open moments later to reveal olivia who pondered in an jumped up cuddling into my side purring softly as she dozed off. it was the best sleep i've had in a long time.

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645 words
i literally live laugh love taylor. she's the music industry. just praying that i get tickets for the eras tour. my reason to live rn. taylor gives me lorelai gilmore vibes. two of my favourite humans.

marley :)