Chapter Fifty-Three

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July 2nd 2023 - Brooklyn - The Brooklyn Hospital Centre

We had to leave soon. I had been doing work from Sage's hospital bed all day, pretty much trying to get ahead for the shows and spend time with him at the same time. MK dropped me off this morning and had to leave to go finish a few things up.

I had a car waiting for me but I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I was pushing it with time, to get from here to JFK in time for check in. MK had texted me a few times asking me if I was on my way yet, she was worried I wasn't going to show up. I'd be lying if I hadn't debated it a few times. If she was just my boss and not my girlfriend I don't think I would ever get in the car that's waiting in the parking lot.

Sage was sleeping and I was sitting at the end of the bed. "I expected you to be gone already." My dad's voice filled the room. I looked over my shoulder. "He's not awake yet, I didn't want to just leave without saying goodbye." I defended myself. "MK stopped by this morning." I nodded knowing she was heading there to pick up a few folders I had left at my parents house during the chaotic days of working from wherever I was. "Said you have been worrying about your brother." "He's in hospital, don't act like I'm overreacting." I defended myself. "He's going to be okay." "We don't know that. He might need a kidney transplant. He could relapse. He has so much more to go through." I explained to him, because clearly he wasn't understanding why I was so concerned with just leaving him as if it was a normal week in our lives. "He has, but he's told you he'd like you to go on this work trip." "He doesn't know what he wants." "He knows what he wants, Blue... It is you who is afraid to go after what she wants."

I sighed. No one understands. "I'm not afraid." "Then why are you still sitting here? You have a flight to catch and an incredibly understanding girlfriend waiting for you." "Because I had to adjust to the idea of living life without part of me... I don't want to leave and have to adjust to that again." "He'll be here." He brushed my hair back. "I promise you he'll be here. Even if I have to sit here, right in this chair until you get back to assure you he'll be okay." My eyes moved between his, not knowing where to settle them as he made a promise that he couldn't really keep. Sage's health and sobriety was rather fragile right now. "You have to trust him." He whispered to me like he was telling me the secret to life. "I don't trust him." I admitted. "How can I? He was going to leave me." I felt like a scared child whenever I was vulnerable to my dad. He comforted me the same way as he did when I was a small child, with loving eyes and soft touches. Holding me in his strong yet comforting arms. "You trust me?" I nodded. No doubt about my answer. "Then take my word. Go make him the proudest brother in the world." "It's not my show." "No but you played a big part in making it happen. Your designs will me on that runway. Your dress will be displayed. You have done so much for him to be proud of. This trip is just one of those things." "What if I leave and he gets sick? I'm thousands of miles away." "Princess, I promise you he'll be okay. I'll be here. I'll make sure the doctors take care of him to the best of their abilities. I will talk and listen to him. I will comfort him. I will soften the blows he throws at himself. I will take just as good care of him as you have." I nodded.

"Go on, the world is waiting for Blue Sinclair." He had a proud look hanging on his tired face, an expression I was accustomed to. Pride in his children was never something my dad hid from anyone. He always told us he was proud of us even if we had simply completed our maths homework or won an award. "Papi?" "¿Si, Mija?" "Don't give up on him. Please?" "I never gave up on him, I just had to take care of a little girl that hasn't learnt to take care of herself just yet." I pecked his cheek and he helped me off the bed. I said goodbye to Sage though he was still sleeping as I was talking to him, telling him when I'll be back and to call me and all this useless information that he wouldn't hear me say because he was sleeping soundly. Papi walked me down to the car and opened the door for me. "I hope this trip is the start of you living your life for yourself." I nodded and let him close the car door. I looked out the window as we pulled off and he waved to me and I waved back until I could no longer see him as we rounded the corner out of sight of the hospital.

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