The Mannequin - Minsung

fifty-two

Minho breathes deeply. "Jisung... I love you and... I will love you... for as long as you need me to love you, and then... for as long as you let me..."

Jisung lifts his head. "As long as I need you to?"

Minho tries to smile. "Yes. If... in the future, you don't need my love anymore... if you don't want me... if your feelings change after you get your memories back and you don't love me... that's okay. I don't want you to fear yourself and your past because of what you have with me."

"Don't say that! You can't say that!" Jisung says. His eyes tear up. "I told you! I don't want it! I don't want my feelings to change! I don't want my memories back!" He starts sobbing.

"I don't want to change... I don't want it... I don't want you to let me go..." He grips Minho's arms. "Minho... you have to stop me. Please don't let me go. Please make me stay. You have to make me stay. So you can love me and I can love you. We have so much to do together."

He kisses Minho. Who breaks down in tears.

He had wanted to hear all this from Jisung.

Minho pulls the other into his lap. Kisses him. Brushes away his tears.

"Minho... I love you. I love you— you said you'll teach me everything. Anything I want to do with you. We have to do that. Right? You want to do that... or... are you still scared of hurting me?"

Minho hugs the other tightly. "Of course I am..."

How can he not be scared?

This is what he's been terrified of. That Jisung could regain enough of his past. Then not be okay with what's between them anymore.

So how can Minho take it further? It's becoming clear: Jisung's past is not just of him being an innocent clueless mannequin.

Jisung's a person. With experiences. Relationships. Other people. Those memories could all come to him.

The Jisung Minho knows... will be another Jisung. He might not want Minho. Not want kisses. Touches. Not want his love.

Yet Minho can't stop himself. He places kisses on the other's neck. He breathes deeply. Pulls back.

"Do you think... I will hate you? When I remember who I am?"

Minho holds his lovely face again.

He's drawn this face and admired it so many times.

"Yes..." He says. "It's not right... All of this. I'm sorry, Jisung. You've... always been like a lost creature. Unconscious in a way. It was wrong... For me to fall in love with you... and let you think you love me..."

Jisung's lips tremble. His eyes are wide. "Let me think... I love you? You d-don't believe that I love you?"

Minho kisses him. He shouldn't. But he keeps kissing him. Wants to hold him closer. Melt their bodies together.

"I'm sorry," he breathes. "I'm so sorry. I love you."

Jisung places his hands over Minho's. "If you think it's wrong... then why did this happen? Why did I stay human longer? Why... did I get more memories every time you showed me more love and care?"

"Minho, it can't be wrong... I t-think what's happened between us is right. It hurts... it's not right hurting you... when you've been so kind. That's wrong. But your love for me isn't. My love for you isn't."

"If I change after my memories... then..." His voice wavers. "Then think of that as another Jisung. This Jisung loves you. I love your sweet words and... your kisses and your care... and however you want to touch me. I will accept everything from you. I want everything from you."

Minho closes his eyes. Places his forehead against Jisung's.

Jisung has just confirmed it all. He's mended Minho's heart and broken it. Yet it still sounds so good. It makes him love Jisung even more.

Minho's soul desires. Craves. Urges him. To give Jisung what he wants. But... he can't. Whether Jisung knows what he's asking or not.

"I love you, Jisung," he whispers. "I want you with me... so I can't..."

Any more love could end up being the last piece. It could change Jisung. It could restore all his memories. His past.

... And Minho could lose him. Forever.

To be continued...