35 - pictures

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[POV Louis]

After a while, when I have calmed down a bit and the sobs have fully subsided, I straighten up again, as I am already almost lying on the floor. With trembling hands, I stroke my face, wiping the dried tears from my cheeks. The panic is also slowly subsiding and I feel like I can breathe better again.

What am I supposed to do now?

Just the thought of the decision I will have to make makes my vision blur again and my breath picks up again. I stretch my arms above my head to get a better breath, as that always helps with sports. But this time it doesn't help and brings back the panic that had almost disappeared. Gasping for breath, I look for my mobile phone in my rucksack on the floor next to me. But I don't find it. I scan my jacket and find it in my jacket pocket.

I can only think of one person who could help me make the right decision. At least, I hope so.

"Mum ?", I breathe into the receiver as she answers the phone after the second dial tone. "Boo, what's wrong?" she asks without further ado, her voice dripping with concern. "Mum ?", I repeat myself, but this time it comes more like a sob from my lips. "What happened, honey ?" I take a deep breath to calm myself down a bit, but somehow it only slightly manages. "C-can you...can you please pick me up? I-I can't drive myself right now," I say in an occupied voice, wiping the tears from my cheek with my jumper sleeve.

I hear my mother talking to someone in the background, but I can't identify the other voice. She should be at work too, which makes me feel bad right now for pulling her out of work for something like this. I need my mum right now though. I hear it rustle on the line again before she speaks again, "I'm leaving now. Are you coming out?" she wants to know, so I mumble in agreement.

"Shall I stay on the phone?" she then asks me. "That would be nice," I breathe in a trembling voice. As I stand up, legs flapping, I hear my mother talking about her day at work, which distracts me immensely from my problems and for which I am very grateful. I grab my backpack and pull the hood of my jumper down low on my face so that other students don't see my condition.

Besides, it is supposed to be class time, so there is little chance that I will run into anyone. With slow steps, I make my way through the school until I arrive at the entrance and exit. As I don't see my mum's car yet and don't want to go out into the cold, I stay inside and lean against the heated radiator. I only really notice that I'm cold now and snuggle up even more in the jumper, which is Harry's.

When I see my mother's car pull into the school car park, I push myself away from the heat source and open the door. She parks the car and gets out, hurrying to me. I notice my lips start to quiver and my vision blurs. "Boo !" my mother says, wrapping her arms around my body. I lower the mobile phone and put it in my jacket pocket. Sobbing, I cling to my mum and hide my face in the crook of her neck.

The fact that we can be seen from here, as we are standing in the middle of the school car park and it is starting to rain, doesn't bother us much at the moment. "What's wrong?" she wants to know again, but I can't get a sound out. Once again I feel as if I have lost control of my body. "Shall we go to the café to get your favourite milkshake and then you tell me what's wrong Honey ?" she suggests, stroking my hair, which is possible now that my hood has slipped down. I don't do more than nod, as I'm not capable of more than that.

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