bane of my existence (sapnap x y/n)

ending

"okay please say something so i know i didnt fuck things up."

"you didnt."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"i think i love you"

i stop, i cant speak nor can i breathe, the 3 words ive feared for so long.

Love has never been easy for me, whether it be family, friends or relationships. Everytime its been messy and cold and scary, love has been circling me all my life but not once have i reached out and grabbed it.

Afraid of being abandoned, like when my dad left me, or how my sister dropped me i less than an hour that one night at dinner, or how my mam has never once showed how she cared for me.

afraid of being vulnerable and showing someone the soppy, emotional side of myself, or the whimpy, scared side of myself.

Afraid of being in love because once youre in love youre in deep.

i was afraid.

was. 

but i met sapnap, who has seen all of it, the abandonment, the emotional side of me, the scared side of me, even sides that i myself have never seen of me, the better side.

the side of me that would dance in a parking lot with someone to my favourite songs, the side of me that "hated" a person for years because of how i felt about them, not that thats a 'better' side of myself, but he helped me realize that what i showed was truly just a cover up for an emotion i wanted to avoid for so long.

love.

i dont know when i fell in love with sapnap, whether it was when i first joined a discord call with him and fought with him over who dream loved more, starting a multi-year long rivalry with him, or if it was when he began worrying about me, out of no where, or when i first kissed him on the kitchen floor, or if it was halloween, or thanksgiving when we danced together, i dont know when it was, but all i know is that each and every day i fall harder for him.

"please, dont say it back unless you mean it, but i do, i love you so much, more than my stupid little brain can suffice."

at this point, the group are about 12 feet away and counting.

"okay please say something so i know i didnt fuck things up."

"you didnt." i say finally. "you never have and you never will. i love you too sapnap, i love you more than you will ever know, and more than ill ever be able to put into words"

i watch the worry in his face disappear as he kisses me, this time it feels different, like this time its a new chapter,  the chapter of us, two stupid minecraft kids who fell in love with each other besides the hatred the portrayed for each other, two blind idiots who never saw what was in front of them, and even when they did both were too scared to just jump in, too scared of the vulnerability that came with it.

but now, as we stand in each others presence, now about 17 feet away from our friends, we see it, we are meant to be, not that i believe in that stupid 'fate' bullshit or anything, but if anything comes close to it, its this. 

we smile at each other for a minute before his phone rings in his pocket.

"its george" he says answering putting it on speaker.

"hello?" i say into the phone

"where are you guys" george asks

"um still outside of the casino"

"what- why are yous still there idiots, were at the restaurant"

"doesnt matter we'll be there in a minute"

he hangs up and we laugh slightly to ourselves, feeling a raindrop hit my cheek, i look at sapnap as he looks at me with the same 'oh shit' type of look on his face, we quickly interlock our fingers and begin to run towards the restaurant.

as im running, it all hits me yet again, im in love, with sapnap. 

fucking sapnap, the bane of my existence.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A/N: the end. jfdkajkfsdbk.

im so upsetttt but i had no other ideas for plot and i think i got too deep into it to add a twist but its fine, the next fanfic is a dream x oc one! im so excited to write it i have so much planned.

i just wanted to thank you all so much for the support i was shown while writing this, you guys made it so much better and easier to write. i honestly love being a part of this community so much.