Chapter 35: No Longer

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IT'S BEEN two hours since Jaden and Kevin left to see Soleil at hanggang ngayon ay wala pa ring balita.

"Napano kaya 'yon?" Santi muttered.

"I'm sure she's fine. Nasa hospital na raw eh. Wag ka masyadong mag-alala," sabi ni Danny na tinapik-tapik ang balikat niya.

Santi tried, but he just can't get Soleil out of his mind. Gabi na nang makauwi sina Jaden at Kevin. While Kevin went straight to his room, Jaden slumped on the sofa, looking tired.

"How is she?" Santi hesitated, but he managed to blurt it out.

"Hinimatay dahil sa baba ng blood pressure niya. Pero ayos naman na siya. Nakauwi na rin," said Jaden.

"Low blood pressure?"

"She was on a diet."

"Ah."

"Don't worry, she's good now. Kumain na rin siya."

"I see. Well, get some rest then. Trabaho bukas," said Santi before heading to his bedroom.

He wanted to say he wasn't worried, but it seems like Jaden saw through him. Binuksan niya ang PC niya at nagresearch online ng mga pagkaing makabubuti para sa mga may low blood pressure. He jotted them down on a piece of paper because he was planning to buy some and give them to her. Ngunit bigla niyang naalala na hindi nga pala sila nag-uusap at inutusan din siya nito na tigilan ang pagiging mabait sa kaniya. He can't just go there and deliver food and medicine as a friend. He cannot do that anymore because it would only confuse her.

There was a knock on his door that startled him and he almost knocked his computer down.

"Kuya, gising ka pa?" tanong ni Leo mula sa labas ng pinto.

Dali-daling tumayo si Santi upang pagbuksan ito. "Yeah, why?"

"Nakalimutan kong ibigay 'to." Isang mallit na box ang inabot ni Leo kay Santi. "Galing kay Ate Sol. Nung Pasko pa 'yan eh, kaso nasa Bulacan ka nun at ang tagal mong bumalik kaya nakalimutan ko."

Tinanggap ito ni Santi saka nagpasalamat. Pagkaalis na pagkaalis ni Leo, agad niyang dinala sa desk niya ang regalo upang buksan ito. Underneath the neat wrapping was the familiar box of macarons that he used to send Soleil regularly. Sa loob ng box ay isang note at keychain na may tatlong macarons na gawa sa pottery.

The note read: 'Merry Xmas, Santi! Your macarons and cute little notes have helped me through difficult times and made me even happier on my best days. Things may be awkward right now, but you're a really great friend that I am so lucky to have. Thank you! Happy Christmas to you!'

"Happy Christmas, Sol," he whispered, smiling absentmindedly.

Santi drowned in his self-inflicted crisis for the next few days. Puro si Soleil na lang ang nasa isip niya to the point na nakakaapekto na ito sa focus niya sa trabaho. It didn't help that he would often run into Soleil in the most random places.

For another week, wala siyang ibang inisip kundi ang tanong na may gusto ba siya kay Soleil o wala. Some days he would be certain that he doesn't, other days, he wants to beat himself up because he thinks he does. Lalong hindi niya matanggap na tama si Jaden; saka niya lang na-realize na may gusto nga siya kay Soleil nung naitulak niya na ito palayo. He was mad at himself for missing her kind smiles, their small talks, and her cute laugh. Mga bagay na hindi niya napansin dati pero bumabagabag na sa isip niya ngayon. He felt stupid for belatedly realizing that Jaden was right about her smile: it was the most beautiful thing about her.

Sunday came and Santi was certain that he'd be seeing Soleil again for The Sunday Rush. At hindi nga siya nagkamali. Naging parte na ng online stream squad si Soleil, kaya may segment siya kasama ang ilang young artists sa isang dako ng studio. That day, Santi overheard that they needed a proxy for one of the absent members so he volunteered.

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