I don't want to be loved

Chapter 179: A Disturbing Riddle

Longer chapters from now on

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"...my queen, when His Majesty wrote the contract, he never specifically mentioned Princess Jennie's name. The contract was vague, it only mentioned royalty. He predicted that Chrichton would never send their beloved princess, so they'd use you instead."

Lalisa's eyebrows furrowed, perplexed. She couldn't completely understand this.

"Even if you are telling the truth, why would he do that in such... senseless manner? It'd had been simpler if he'd proposed to me directly, don't you think?"

"That's because..."

If I do that, she'll run away, hide somewhere and never appear again!

Raymond suddenly remembered what Jungkook said so stubbornly. He instinctively knew not to say a word about it.

"I'm sure His Majesty had his reasons, my queen. I'm not completely sure why you and His Majesty are distanced right now, but if you have any questions, I wish you won't doubt His Majesty's feelings. He lived many years admiring you. If what I'm saying is false, may the heavens punish me and grant you the right to take my life for the lies I've said."

Raymond had a playful nature rooted since birth. What's more, he wasn't the type of man who'd gamble his life lightly. Now, he was truthfully begging her, so Lalisa couldn't ignore his words.

"I'm desperately begging you to do something, my queen. Please, go meet His Majesty and have a sincere conversation. I'm sure His Majesty will be able to answer the questions that I couldn't answer."

"I'll consider what you've said today, Raymond. I will have a talk with Jungkook, as you've recommended, so please, don't worry."

Raymond smiled broadly. "Yes, I'll take you for your word, my queen!"

When Raymond left her room, Lalisa looked at the ceiling and went into deep thought. She remembered Jungkook's strange behavior with her. She didn't understand why.

Why did Jungkook go to the port six years ago? And, what was the reason why he made such scandal to bring her back to Arundell instead of directly proposing to her?

She had a disturbing feeling. No, it was more a doubt. Before, he could have looked for her at any moment, so why did he only do so when she went back in time after drinking poison and dying?

Why... did he choose this exact moment to go looking for her?

Till know, she was the only person that went back in time. She'd talked to lots of people with which she'd had a connection before and they showed no sign of remembering their past life, so she never once considered the possibility that somebody else went back in time.

So... what if Jungkook also went back to the past?

Lalisa quickly shooked her head.

No, that was impossible. If that were true, he'd have did anything to avoid this marriage. Jungkook had no feelings for her, so there was no way he'd accept her again after she'd left overseas.

However, she needed an answer to her questions. There was no other way besides asking Jungkook and, she also had something important to tell him.

Lalisa sighed and caressed her belly.

As the days passed by, it was more evident that she was pregnant. There was still some time left in their contract, so she wanted to know what to do about her current situation.

The best option for her would be to go back to Chrichton while pregnant, but she'd already surrendered that right in the contract. Anyways, even if she hadn't, Jungkook wouldn't easily give up his son, as he was so obsessed with the idea of having an heir back then. It would be the same this time.

And, what would happen if she were to give birth to a princess? The Queen Mother came to power after many bloody sacrifices and tears. Her baby, the princess, would have to walk a thorny path to become the governing monarch.

Lalisa had a weak constitution, so this would probably be the first and last time she'd give him a baby. Therefore, she knew Jungkook would remarry to get a male heir.

Perhaps... he'd let her go if that were the case.

Having made up her mind, Lalisa gathered her courage and stood up from her seat. After walking past many rooms, she stood in front of the study room and knocked. She remained there for a while before slightly pushing the door open.

As expected, Jungkook was nowhere in there. However, it didn't seem like he planned on not coming back soon, as there were many documents scattered on his desk. Jungkook had the tendency of keeping things clean and organized, so he usually arranged his documents neatly after finishing work.

Lalisa wondered whether she should wait for him or just come back later, when she noticed that one of the desk's drawer was slightly ajar.

It wasn't like she had the habit of peeking into other people's things when they weren't there, but Raymond's words kept resounding in her head nonstop. She wanted to know the reason why Igor did what he did six years ago.

The answer to that riddle might as well be within that drawer.

Lalisa took the drawer's handle and pulled. Within, there was a small wooden figure shaped like a ship.

"This..."

She took the small figurine in her hands, surprised. She had assumed Jungkook had thrown in away or lost it years ago. She hadn't seen this wooden ship again since she'd gifted it to him.

Lalisa examined the toy carefully. It was polished and clean, as though Jungkook had stored it with the utmost care. For a moment, she got lost in her thoughts, tenderly caressing the ship with her fingers. Perhaps, just as Raymond had said, Jungkook did have a reason he couldn't tell her. She shouldn't doubt him any longer, but go and ask him directly...

With these thoughts, she was putting the wooden ship back into the drawer when something suddenly caught her eye. There was a small box deep within the drawer.

Lalisa took the box and opened it. Inside, there was something she thought she'd never see again.

"..."

She looked at it for a while before carefully picking it up with trembling hands.

It was the golden feather. She'd thrown it to the sea six years ago... but here it was... perfectly kept.

What was the meaning of this? Did Jungkook get an extra feather during their first encounter? That could be it. If that was so, he'd shared both feathers between them and...

Lalisa shook her head.

That day, Jungkook had left the garden first. He couldn't have possibly found another feather, much less come back for it later.

Creak...

At that moment, the creaking sound of the door opening took her out of her reverie.

Lalisa turned around, rigid. Jungkook was standing there looking at her, surprised. To be more precise, he wasn't looking at her, but at the feather she was holding.

Without thinking, Lalisa held the golden feather tightly in her grip.

"Why do you have this?" she asked.

Jungkook didn't answer. Suddenly, his surprised visage changed into a calm expression. He slowly closed the door and approached her.

"Answer me first. Why do you have this?" Lalisa yelled.

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