I Made a Promise

Chapter 75

~Skylar's POV~
Liz walked inside and I followed her. It was a little girl's bedroom. I looked at Liz, she was looking down at the floor. I looked around the room. There was a crib, a dresser, some clothes and photos. There was some stuffed animals and blankets in the crib.

Then I found some photos around the room, on the dressers, and shelves. They were of a little girl with blue eyes like Liz's, blonde wavy hair like Kyle's, fair skin and she looked like she couldn't be older than 2 in some of the photos. There were some photos of her as a baby, and some photos of Liz and Kyle and they looked younger. Then I came across some photos of both of them, doing a maternity photo shoot.

I looked at Liz. She didn't look at me, but she nodded her head.
"Do you wanna hear it from the beginning?" She asked, still not looking at me.
"Yea." I said.

"Kyle and I met each other in high-school. We both lived in San Diego. I was a straight A student, Kyle was always in detention. I later found out that he didn't have any family. He had no one to fall back on, no one to talk to or to help guide him. We always hated each other. But we both secretly had a thing for each other. Once I found out about his family, or lack there of, I invited him to live with me. We had a spare room in our basement, and my parents honestly never really cared if I had friends over. And they never knew that he was living there. For a few months at least. Slowly after seeing each other basically 24/7, one thing led to another, and we hooked up. I helped him, and he helped me in some ways. Soon after high school, we just got married and moved to LA.." she explained.

"What about... all of this?" I asked her, motioning about the room.
She finally looked at me, but then she looked back down and around the room.
"We eloped in Phoenix, Arizona and then moved straight to LA. It was far enough from my parents, who hated Kyle, but not too far from our hometown, just incase... we both knew we wanted to become police officers. So we both enrolled in the academy. 2 years later, we became officers in Burbank. Not shortly after that though... I got pregnant. Kyle and I never talked about kids before, but once we found out, we were over the moon. So excited. 9 months later we welcomed Lexi Jane Rossi into our family..." she explained.

She looked up at me, I didn't say anything. I just waited for her to continue.
"She was... the cutest little baby... she had this huge, contagious smile and laugh that would echo across the whole house..." she smiled.

"What... happened to her?" I asked her.
"Everything was fine with her until her 18 month appointment... she had to get some routine tests. Bloodwork, pulse, weight, height... the problem they found... was her heart... we didn't know it but Kyle's side of the family has a whole line of heart issues. And it turns out... she got the gene. Her heart was starting to grow weak... she had 2 heart transplants and a pacemaker before she turned 2... but nothing helped. Without a strong and working heart, her body started getting weaker and weaker everyday. She stopped walking and her bright eyes full of curiosity and wonder turned into sadness, exhaustion, and weakness. She was put on medication to help slow down the process of her dying heart... but Kyle and I both knew it never actually helped... we started skipping shifts or one of us staying home and the other works maybe half a shift." she explained.

She took a deep breath and walked over to the crib. She picked up some stuff animals and lifted a blanket to reveal a ceramic of box with blue butterflies on it. On top of the box, was a plaque, and on the plaque read "Lexi Jane Rossi". She touched the box and she put her head down.

"You would never know that she was struggling if you just walked past her at the store. Anytime she had some energy or some happiness, Kyle and I dropped everything we were doing and enjoyed that time with her, knowing that in maybe an hour or two that she would get so tired and cranky. But she was a fighter... except one night. It was 2am and Kyle and I got woken up by these piercing cries. Those cries that never leave your head. The kind that just haunt you as a parent. Kyle and I both ran in here and she was sitting up in her crib, crying and crying. I tried asking her what's wrong, and she said was "Mama it hurts!" Over and over again, holding her chest. Kyle and I immediately went in the car and drove her to the ER. And they told us that she didn't have much longer. She needed another transplant, but they didn't think she had enough time to wait... she was moved up to the PICU and it was the hardest thing Kyle and I have ever been through. She was constantly hooked up to monitors and oxygen. She spent her 2nd birthday in the hospital... and two weeks later. We were told that her little heart was giving up. They gave us a week left with her... I was devastated by those words. But I didn't know that the next words that Lexi was going to tell me, would break me even more..." she explained.

I looked at her and I didn't know what to do or say.
"What did... she say?" I asked her.
Liz looked at me with tears in her eyes.
"When Kyle and I went back into her room... she was super tired and just laying in the bed. I sat next to her and stroked her hair. She pulled down the oxygen mask she had on her little face and she looked at me with her big tired eyes and asked me very clearly: "mama, am I going to die?" And... I just looked at Kyle and then back down at our daughter and told her no, that's she was going to live with us forever... I couldn't tell her the truth and I didn't know how she would take it..." she cried.

I finally just hugged her. She buried her head in my shoulder and cried and cried. I felt her tears getting soaked up by my shirt and hair, but I didn't care. She's my best friend, I'm her shoulder to cry on.

After 2 minutes, we pulled away.
"So that's why you guys don't want to try again? Because your scared of your next baby getting the same gene?" I asked her.
She nodded her head and wiped her tears.

"Kyle beats himself up all the time about it... and we just never changed her room. Once she passed away, Kyle and I both just didn't believe it... my sister stayed with us for a bit while we tried to navigate our new life..." she sniffled.

She had her hand on the box.
"A week later her body was starting to shut down at a faster rate... Kyle and I talked to her, sang her favorite little songs, anything to keep her alert and alive... and... she complained about her body hurting... and she felt her body wanting to sleep... so Kyle and I had a talk with her. We explained that she could sleep... but she would wake up probably not feeling better... or she could sleep and wake up feeling so much better and she could run around like how she used to... only... Kyle and I wouldn't be there... we had a psychiatrist try to explain it to her better. And she was... sad that she wouldn't see us again... but her exact words were, 'my body hurts too much' and Kyle and I looked at her and we said 'ok baby, if that's what you want. You'll get it...' so... she decided that she wanted to start her sleep the following day. So we spent the last day with her doing anything she wanted... we even had a little bumper cars thing going on with some wheelchairs with some of the nurses... and when the next day came, she looked at both of us and said 'mama, dada... I love you... I promise I'll see you again...'... she was always so advanced in how she talked..." Liz explained, smiling as she remembered the happy times with her daughter.

"Has she ever... visited you guys?" I asked her.
She looked at me and smiled. She nodded her head.
She pointed at the box, then at the blanket, and finally at some decals and decorations. It was all blue butterflies.

"She absolutely loved them... anytime we saw any in the park or just anywhere really, she would go crazy... I remember we took her to this butterfly sanctuary right before everything happened and... she loved it so much. She almost didn't want to leave. And she got this huge blue butterfly stuffed animal, a medium size one, and a small one... everyday she always asked us when we could go back... and once we got her diagnosis, we were at that place probably 3-4 days a week..." she laughed, remembering everything.

"Liz I'm so sorry... I had no idea..." I told her.
She wiped her tears and shook her head.
"No it's ok. How would you? No one knows... we've never told anyone, we don't have pictures around the house, and we always keep this room locked when we have people over. Anytime anyone asks what the L stands for, Kyle jokes around saying "yea, we needed a whole extra bedroom for Liz to use as a closet" because how do you explain to people this?" She asked me.

I nodded my head.
She looked at me.
"When you told me that your daughter has a heart defect, my body immediately went cold... and I was terrified for you..." she explained.
"It's ok... I got told today that she's improving..." I told her.

She nodded her head.
"I know... and I'm so happy for you..." she smiled and hugged me.
I just hugged her tight. Once we pulled away, she looked at some photos.
"You would've loved her... she was just this little ball of sunshine and excitement. She was so curious about everything..." she smiled.
"You sounds like she was the most beautiful kid ever." I smiled.

She hugged me again. As we were hugging, I noticed a sunflower outside the window. I smiled at it, then I saw a small blue butterfly land on it.
"Something tells me that Lexi's probably with my brother... maybe chasing butterflies..." I lightly chuckled.

I heard her laugh a little too and sniffle.

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