Happiness - MileApo ✔️

36. Let The Scars Heal

"So you and Mile are being more intimate. How are you processing the abuse he caused you early in your pregnancy?," Anna asked. 

This was his individual session. They were going strong and his extra therapy was helping him quite a bit. 

"It is still hard to accept that what he did was abuse. I don't want to blame him. I feel like labeling it that way makes Mile a bad person." 

"You have been abused before in your life, right Apo?," Anna pushes.

"Yes. When I was a prostitute." Apo replied a bit confused. Anna already knew his past. 

"Do you believe those people that abused you before are bad people?," Anna questioned. 

"Yes." The Omega agreed. He held strong convictions about those people. 

"Do you think that because you have associated people that abuse with bad people that, that could be a reason you are having trouble accepting what Mile did? You don't want to put him in the group of people that you hold so much disdain for?," Anna had a way of being right. It was becoming more annoying as he continued to see her. 

"Yes. Mile is not like those people. He is a good person." Apo fought back. 

"I never said he was, Apo . I am just trying to get to the core of your acceptance issues. You cannot move forward if you have not accepted the past. If you do not accept it, this could build resentment and harm in your relationship." Anna explained. 

"Let us remove you from the situation entirely. If it was someone else do you think you would see it as abusive?," The Omega started to ponder her question. 

What exactly happened? Ignoring your pregnant mate, belittling your mate, constantly reinforcing negative things about your mate, and physically hurting your mate would be abusive. If it happened to anyone else, Apo could see how all those actions would be emotionally and physically abusive. 

"If it was someone else, then yes it would be abusive." Apo answered. 

"Why?," Anna pushed. 

"It is not only cruel treatment of your mate but also its chips away at your self-esteem and independence." Apo muttered. 

"Yes it does." Anna agreed. 

"But there are different types of abuse. Your mate rejecting you is emotionally abusive. I know it is hard to think about but if it was not you, you can see the abuse, correct?," Anna was right. 

Mile's behavior was abusive. However, Apo could not bring himself to connect Mile with abusive. He did not want to think of his mate in that way. Mile is an amazing father, a great cop, and extremely loving. Nowhere in that could he be abusive. 

"I see that, but that is not Mile . He is a good person." The Omega insisted. He was firmly grasping at his beliefs about his mate. He did not want to hate Mile for what he did. 

"Just because Mile has abused to you does not mean he is a bad person. It just means he has been abusive. Does that make sense?," Anna continued. 

Abusive people were not synonymous with bad people. Apo thought back on all of Mile's behavior. Outside of the beginning of Apo's pregnancy, Mile had only been good to him. He had always protected him and Nolan, he had been there for them, and he was even going out of his way to take Apo on dates. He isn't a bad person. However, as hard as it was to think of Mile this way, Apo started to be open to the idea that maybe Mile could be considered abusive. 

"It does in a way. But, what does that mean for Mile and me? If I start to look at him that way won't I start to hate him?," Apo questioned. He didn't ever want to hate Mile . He loved him.