Studio 22 | Mary-Kate Olsen

Chapter Thirty-Nine

I managed to gather the strength to crawl to my bed and wrap myself in my blankets just like I used to. Hiding away from the world in my protective layer of warm sheets. My phone kept buzzing in my back pocket eventually I took it out and checked it. Some were from my parents making sure I was okay and safe. A majority were from MK. She wanted to talk. I messaged my parents back... I wasn't ready to destroy that relationship just yet. I then turned my phone off leaving MK on read. I wasn't ready for that talk just yet either. I don't know when I will be. She betrayed my trust.

My tears didn't stop from the moment I entered my room until the second I fell asleep from pure exhaustion. I knew I'd wake up with puffy eyes and a sore throat from all the tears but I would face that issue tomorrow morning.

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MARY-KATE'S POV

February 11th 2023 - New York City - Ashley's House

After I spoke with Blue's parents and told them everything I knew I went to my sisters house. I texted her on my way over warning her of the emotional state I was in. I didn't just want to turn up and she was completely blindsided by my tears and anxiety.

I decided to tell Blue's parents everything, from Cyprus, to Blue going on drug drops, to Sage and her's arguments, Monday nights, Blue's jumpiness... I didn't know everything. I couldn't answer all their questions but I told them what I knew. They knew nothing... Other than Sage was using. They were completely in the dark and now I'm questioning how little I really know about Blue and Sage... If she could lie to her parents so well, how easily could she lie to me? I thought she was a bad liar but apparently she's not. It made me worry about her even more.

I had been trying to keep my tears at bay on the way to Ashley's because I didn't want pap photos being leaked and everyone speculating on my life. I just wanted my sister's comfort and for her to listen and rationalise everything. I needed to hear her side of it. I was Sage and Ashley was Blue. I needed to know what extent she would have gone to for me back then. I needed to know every thought. I needed to know if I needed to go over there and drag her out kicking and screaming just so I knew she was safe from herself and her environment.

Ashley opened the door to me and she looked concerned straight away. "Louis is out... Come in." She ushered closing the door behind me. I dumped my things by the door and walked straight through to the lounge, she followed behind me and sat close to me. "What's happened? Are you okay? Do you want me to call you a sponsor?" "No... I'm okay. It's just... I..." I could get the words out. Ash held my hands. "Hey, it's going to be okay, whatever it is. We're in this together." It was hard to feel alone with a twin. Your problems become their problems. "Now what's happened? You were at Blue's parents... Did something happen?" I nodded. "Sage?" I nodded again. "Okay, is Blue okay?" "I don't know." The tears started to fall and Ashley responded, pulling me into her chest. "What happened?" "Her dad knows everything... I told him and she's so mad at me," I told her pulling away. "What do you mean everything? I thought they knew he was using?" I felt guilty having kept things from my sister. "He hit her... I told their parents that he hit her." "That's the right thing to do." I shake my head. "No... She's never going to speak to me again. I could see the betrayal in her eyes when she looked at me. She hates me. I ruined everything." "You've probably protected her from so much MK." "No... She's not going to tell me anything again. She's going to be stuck there with him. Because she's never going to leave him." Ashley knew I was right, she didn't say anything for a few moments. "I fuck everything up." "No, no you don't." She tucked my hair behind my ears.

She talked me down, she answered my questions and I wanted nothing more than to go over to her and hold her. Ashley told me what it was like for her. How scared she was of losing me and of me. She told me how she'd wouldn't sleep to watch me breathe so she knew I hadn't overdosed. She told me just how far she was prepared to go to protect me, to show me I was loved. There was no boundaries she could set that would stay up. The second I needed her, the second I was home or in danger she was there. She explained what it was like being a twin to an addict... How hard it was on her mentally. I never physically hurt her though, Blue has that added fear. She would go to parties to find me and bring me home before I had the chance to go missing. She'd lie to our parents and little sister. She felt so alone and rejected because of me. It forced her to go to this dark place.