Merciless

| 1. Excitement |

"Brooo no wayyyy ." I laughed at Ilan my cousin , sister and bestfriend who was named after my late mother.

"I know right! He legit screenshotted all my pictures that I posted like a freak ! And when I saw it he said that he thinks I'm cute? He is so weird bro." Ilan balled out her eyes in shock .

We were in her room talking about boy drama .

We went to the same university to study pedagogy. We both love kids and it was our first year as adults .

I love what I study so much because I love childeren and babies !

I guess it's because I never had a mother so I want to give my love to children to make them feel like they are loved in a motherly way .

Never seeing or hearing your mom wasn't easy .

Especially when your father doesn't acknowledge your existance and blames you for her death.

The way he treats me traumatized me as a child .

I remember the first time he told me it was my fault and if I was never born then my mother would have survived.

As a six year old girl . That traumatized me .

It was very hard to carry that guilt .

When I told Mama Ines about it she told me that he wasn't being himself since my mother's death and that he doesn't mean what he says but a part of me knows that he means every single word .

I lived in that empty big house lonely for years .

Baba was always busy in his dark mafia world and he would never come so I would only see him once in five to six months .

And when I do see him he ignores me or hurts me with his words .

Mama Ines and uncle Haider took care of me .

I grew up with their daughter and we were treated equally. I felt loved by them .

Everyone in my family was loving to me .

My grandfather and aunt Ameerah .

My other grandfather , auntie Leyla and crazy uncle Rafael who was the most immature and funniest of all my family members .

Their love made me forget the fact that my father hates me and that I don't have a mother .

But sometimes I can't help but feel sad when I see Mama Ines caring for Ilan making my heart twitch .

But still she loves me and cares for me the same way .

"Girls what are you both talking about?" Mama Ines interrupted our laughter with a suspicious expression on her face.

We both shook our heads .

"Uhm nothing mom just some drama ." Ilan said winking at me making me snort .

"Yeah mama it's nothing." I gave her my cheeky smile .

She cupped my cheeks and tucked my hair behind my ears .