Life in Retail

Crash Landing

I stand in front of the largest pile of boxes I've seen yet. It looks like it's two orders instead of one. I sigh and check the freezer, discovering that it's so full, I can't even get in there. Granted, it wasn't that big to begin with, but I've no idea why there's so much in the first place. Did she scan the order twice or something?

I take a deep breath and steel my nerves. It's the last day , I remind myself. Taki will be back on Tuesday and Bailey will be gone. Just one last shift and it's done. I stand tall and nod. I can do this.

And one box at a time, I begin with cleaning out the freezer.

I come across a few fridge items, naturally, but as I dig deeper down, I notice something. Some of the boxes are open with product missing. I take a mental note of it and eventually find some fridge only items that are frozen solid. I don't know how long ago the order was delivered and if being buried in frozen stuff just made it freeze faster, but I remember Yukito saying that some of the stuff didn't thaw out correctly so I set it in the fridge and don't worry about unpacking the boxes just yet.

Because of how big it is, I want to organize as much as I can before I have to go up front to help Bailey. I take a deep breath and dive right into the next task. I'll have to tell her that I have permission to work my normal shift too. I shake off the nervousness and just focus on sorting out the order.

Halfway through the pile, I come across the same thing as in the freezer, open boxes with product missing. I furrow my brows and try to think of a reason why they'd be like that. I don't dwell on it too long though, considering how pressed for time I'll be later. I end up placing the last box into the correct aisle when she calls to the back. I let her know I'm headed up and mentally prepare to help some customers.

It's not too bad today.

The interactions are repetitive enough that I can basically run on auto-pilot while my mind wanders.

I told Mom about what Dad said, that he wasn't sure he could help anymore.

She seemed fine after a while, but initially, she was frozen in place, trapped. The panic in her eyes unnerved me to no end. I used to be wary of her anger, of her losing control, but seeing her like that... it's a different kind of control she was losing, and I didn't like it one bit.

I never knew how much I depended on it before. I despised her control over me, but I didn't appreciate her control over our livelihood nearly enough. We have a home, food, comfort. I go to a good school, the one she always wanted me to go to, and it isn't cheap. Speaking of which, all that money's wasted right now because of my grades. I'm falling right back into E-class again, wondering if I should drop out and work full time, or as much as I'm allowed to, at least.

I took that control she had over our lives for granted.

But after a moment, she put up a smile. Stayed positive. She swore she would beat Cindi with an "i" at her own game, but in a more financially sensible way. She'd do whatever it takes to keep from uprooting our lives and losing everything.

And there's that mirror again.

It's been enlightening, actually. I understand now that I am my mother's son in every way. We hold in our emotions. We're desperate when we need to be. We put on a smile and act like everything's okay, except I see her. I know her because I am her. We're not okay. She's not okay.

And I've no idea what to do to fix it.

I turn a corner and match gazes with Felt, a sushi in her mouth.

She swallows it and smirks. "Hey, haven't seen you in a minute."

I can't help but glare at her.

She steps back. "Geez, what crawled up your butt and died?"