My Little Ember

Rose Tinted Glasses

I wake up and stare at the ceiling, I'm glad I managed to get some sleep eventually, even though it lasted for three hours it's better than none at all.

I think about the memory of the boy who traumatised me so much I forgot about it. I remember my mum's unpleasant and irritated expression at my nine year old self.

How could she not see that I was uncomfortable at my own birthday party? I never wanted a big party. My parents never asked, they just did.

Could my mum not see my scared face when I tried to tell her what the boy did. She sent me to my room on my birthday. I could see from my window that my parents continued the party.

No one noticed that the birthday girl was missing when they cut up the cake. The other kids blew out my candles.

I was by the staircase when I over heard my mum say to one of the parents that I wasn't well and gave them permission to eat the cake without me.

The next morning my parents gave me the only piece left and my presents, they left not wanting to see my surprised and happy reaction. I wasn't happy when I opened them up, I was too sad to find joy.

I lived the rest of my life wearing rose tinted glasses, not noticing the slight neglect and their fake smiles that I didn't notice until now when I think back to other memories and truly seeing their fake love.

They didn't help me with homework or practicing for coming up tests, I even asked them a couple of times but they said that they were busy. They didn't care about my failures but they do now.

One day back in primary school I made a painting of the three of us. My parents smiled and placed it on the fridge, two days later the painting was gone.

When I asked my mum she said that someone stole it because it was such a pretty picture. Something felt off but I chose to ignore it.

I felt so unloved that I made myself think I was loved. Looking at the time I see that they're open, I pick up my phone and dial the number, after five rings I get a greeting.

"Hi, yes I would like a showing please...I'm mainly looking for apartments, the price range I can do is three fifty a month...oh yes I can do tomorrow...quarter past eleven is perfect thank you very much".

I end the call with a smile on my face knowing that I'll get out of here and soon. This adds a bounce to my step. I get out of bed and get ready for work.

I'm doing an afternoon shift today, my boss messaged me and said that my shift will be short today. I go for a shower and do the other necessities.

Walking downstairs in my work clothes and all ready I go to the fridge to get a drink before work, I can't eat breakfast in the morning, most times it makes me feel sick.

My parents and Jake are at the table, from this view it looks like the perfect family but me and Jake can see through the facade. They all look at me, my parents attempt to give me a loving smile.

I am so glad those rose tinted glasses are thrown away, I can see clearly now. "Morning sweet, did you sleep well?" My father's tone is sickly sweet. I pour myself a glass of water.

"I slept perfectly thank you" They nod "Oh by the way I'm moving out in a couple of days, I can't say when but I'm hoping soon" Their mouths drop.

I carry on "And Jake can visit of course, and if he wants he can stay at mine for the weekends whenever he wants. It can get a bit suffocating in here" I give my parents a fake smile, I think they're too shocked to notice.

Jake grins "That would be so coo-" He gets interrupted by mother "I love you sweet but Jake can't do that" My face contorts into a 'confused' look.

"Oh he can actually, I am a mature adult with a steady job that has good income. I don't work on weekends but if they do call up I'll say that Jake's with me, and since I'm moving further from here and closer ish to my work they would consider it as leaving a minor".

Pure silence.

"But hey at least whenever he'd like to stay for the weekend it would be one less kid out of the house" I shrug and see something reflect in their eyes.

"I'm off to work, see ya" I wave and walk out of the house. I couldn't contain the huge smug grin that's spreading across my face.