Ever since NY (Zarry AU)

XVII.

"God, that was... beyond amazing," Harry said panting after he came, Zayn wiped his mouth with the back of his hand looking at him.

"Sure it was..." Zayn said and kissed him lightly.

After a while, Harry got up from his bed and put up his underwear and jeans. Zayn was staring at him in awe.

"What?" Harry said blushing a little.

"Happy Late Birthday, babe," Zayn said sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Did... you know?" Harry asked surprised.

"Not from you. Cecile told me. Why you didn't tell me, babe?" Zayn asked pulling him from his belt hoops and hugging him.

"Erm... because of what happened with Mr. Jenkins passing, my birthday was the next day. Of course, we weren't in the mood to celebrate or even mention it," Harry explained looking down.

"I understand. But... you should've said something and celebrated it," Zayn said kissing Harry's ferns that were peaking through his jeans and keep kissing his happy trail and his butterfly. He loves his tattoos.

"I- I wanted to but..." Harry said.

"I know... babe, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to push you away on purpose, I needed a break. I'm figuring myself out, after everything that happened to me. You've been always good to me and when I saw you today, I just wanted to be with you and I want you to be in my life Harry," Zayn said.

"Zayn, I want you in my life too but... erm I don't know," Harry said.

"I know... I know that I've hurt you and I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," Zayn said looking down and Harry didn't say anything.

"Harry, I... don't know if I want to be me anymore. I like you and I care about you, but... I need to tell you something..." Zayn said looking at him.

"You are with that girl... don't you?" Harry said stepping back and feeling his stomach sink.

"It's not like that... let me explain..." Zayn said and Harry looked him in the eyes.

"No... I know you are, I saw the love bite..." Harry said with a broken voice.

"We-we just fooled around, we kissed and touched. Like... you and I and I like it..." Zayn said.

"Stop. I don't want to hear it," Harry said. He already knew that when he saw the way he was kissing her at the party.

"Harry, I wanted to be honest with you, as you've been with me..." Zayn said.

"And you don't care that what you're telling me is hurting me?" Harry said with a broken voice.

"Shit! I- I do. I don't want to keep hurting you, but if I didn't tell you and you found out later, you'll think that I've lied to you or cheated on you." Zayn explained.

"Of course..." Harry said.

"Harry, we... we were just I don't know... friends? Fuck! I haven't had a relationship before... and we never talked about it, I- this is new to me... don't know, we never said that we were like... boyfriends?" Zayn said with his voice broken and Harry was crying silently.

"Babe, don't cry, please," Zayn said touching his face to wipe the tears.

"Don't...we had one thing going on and I swear that it was something. Bloody hell, how fucking naive I was...," Harry said sobbing.

"Babe, please don't... get me wrong you're special to me," Zayn said approaching Harry again to take his hand but he withdrew. His eyes were teary and Zayn was talking with a breaking voice.