Fading Away ✅

Chapter Forty-seven

I let out a huge sigh
"Can I be excused?"

"Eat your food"

"I am satisfied"

Mum looks at my plate and sends me a deadpan look.

Letting out a huge sigh again, I pick around the pasta.

A tense silence so heavy dawns over all of us. Even Brandon stares intently at his plate.

I continue to pick around, the only sound is the clinking of my fork on the glass plate.

"Stop it, Lexi"

"Can I please be excused? I am not hungry"

"Why are you making things hard when it doesn't have to be?"

I avoid her stare, focusing on the barely eaten pasta.

"You can leave. Go, if you want to"

I see the pained expression on her face before I take my plate to the sink and walk out of the kitchen.

I drag myself up the stairs, the portrait on the wall catching my attention. For a second I picture how it will look if I wasn't in it–only Mum and Brandon. I walk quickly down the stairs and peep through the doorway of the kitchen. Mum stares at the entrance, the pained expression still on her face and Brandon stares at her, a small smile suddenly lights up his face, he opens his mouth to speak but stops and turns back to his plate with a frown"

I walk to my room ghostly and the moment I collapse on my bed, my eyes let out a dam of tears.

Is everybody right?

Am I denying myself happiness?

Was my second chance at life a waste on me?

Would mum and everyone feel better if I had died?

All these questions plague my mind as the clock ticks away.

The whole house is dead silent as the light under my door vanishes.

I retrieve Blaze's card from my bedside table and untie the bow on it.

Today, the card looks simple. No extravagant letterings or cursive writings. Just a black card with white edges.

I run my hand over the simple card, a familiar feeling of fear brewing in my stomach.

Why are you afraid?

You've been receiving cards from him ever since you've been in the hospital.

It's nothing special, you'll open it and just see a stupid motivational quote and by tomorrow, it'll be lying under your bin.

I know that so why am I hesitating? Knocking off that fear, I flip the card open hoping to see a cringe quote or words telling me how valuable I am.

Except, only two words sit  above a smiling emoji:

Be happy.

Only two words that have the dam spilling out again.

Two words that have me evaluating everyone's words ever since waking up from the coma.

Two words that have me springing into action and refusing to think.

I push open my drawer and take out the pen drive Blaze left in the hospital. I move towards my desk table and connect the pen drive to my laptop.

The voices scream at me to stop, that there's no going back if I do this but I ignore them, only thinking about the people who matter in my life, and with that, I unlock my laptop.