FEARLESS \\ Grayson Hawthorne [1]

Chapter 9 - You're not sorry

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"All this time I was wasting. Hopping you'd come around. I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down."
- Taylor Swift
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Jess's P.O.V

I didn't turn around as I left Grayson standing in the hallway, an unreadable expression on his beautiful features. I hated how he didn't react, how he didn't yell my name or grab my wrist. I wanted him to tell me that I was all he wanted, that I had always been the thing he desired most.

My heart was a fool for believing those lies.

When Libby had shown me the article when we were baking my heart had stopped. My breathing had slowed and I was pretty sure I was dying. I had hoped that my mistake would be something only me and Grayson would remember, as usual, I was wrong.

When Grayson had come, my heart had sped up. His hand had been warm against my wrist and I followed him into an empty hallway. I hadn't spoken, hadn't blushed or looked at him like he was all I wanted.

When he had touched my cheek I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted those lips on mine, those hands to hold my waist. In his eyes though, were none of those same desires.

I hated him for it. I hated that he made me feel like this. I hated that whenever he looked at me all I wanted to do was cry and run into his arms, telling him how much I wanted him to never let me go, because if he did, I would surely fall apart.

...

I spent the rest of the day reading, there was not anything better to do.

As I read I wondered how the characters were able to do such hard things, get through any problem together. Relationships seemed so easy in novels. They loved each other and nothing was able to keep them away from that love. They fought for their happy ending and got it.

I felt as if I had been fighting for mine since I was fifteen.

I tried to fall asleep thinking about my book rather than the mess I was living. Nothing stopped the memories from flooding my mind though as I slept.

"Grayson?" I asked the young blonde boy in front of me. He looked to me, his grey eyes sparkling.

"What is is, love?" I smiled. Love. I never wanted him to call me anything else ever again.

"Why did you take me here?" The two of us sat in an old house that had been left to rot for years now.

Grayson hadn't said why we were headed to this house as he drove his new car here, which had gotten quite dirty on the drive. I had told him that we could have just biked but he had shaken his head and opened the car door.

"I wanted us to have a private place to talk." I raised my eyebrows at his answer.

"Don't you live in a mansion?" I asked, a crooked smile on my face. Grayson looked to me with a small smile.