billy hargrove and y/n
y/n is new to a small town, Hawkins. she is going into her senior year of high school, but this summer is completely different from any other. billy hargrove comes into her life and changes it for good, or bad?
This doesn't...
she left me standing there in the middle of the fucking woods alone. she told me she was happy, HA like she knew anything about happiness with that asshole. "you will never come near me, billy or my daughter.." that stupid line kept playing over and over in my head.
"daughter"
she's having a girl. she had to throw that in my face.
i tried to tell her the truth, i tried to help her see the light but she's made her choice now. she's chosen her fate.
i'll miss her.
y/n's POV
i woke up in the morning and billy wasn't in bed. i was used to waking up without him because he goes to work at 6 am, but i knew he had taken off work today and i knew after last night that he wasn't happy with me. i looked over at the end table and there was a note with a tape.
y/n,
i made this for you last night while i was in the den. you caught me so it isn't my best work. I don't want you to worry if you wake up before i come back, susan asked me to come over and grab some extra furniture she had and other stuff. i'm not sure how long i will be but please call me after you listen to the tape.
-love billy
i picked up the tape and took it out to the living room where we had moved my radio and popped the tape in.
i hit play.
"hey y/n..."
it was billy's voice. "i hated how everything played out tonight, and I couldn't sleep. so i decided to do the one thing we both love the most, play music. i had to keep it quiet though because you're asleep in the other room. i'm sorry about the way i handled everything tonight, and I'm sorry you had to see that side of me. i still love you and i want everything we have together, i just need some time. it's hard for me to understand why you kept something like this from me. but just...please...no more secrets. i love you forever"
music started playing
1. faithfully- journey 2. i wont back down- tom petty 3. hard to say i'm sorry- chicago 4.listen to your heart- roxette 5. right here waiting- richard marx 6. is this love?- whitesnake 7. waiting for a girl like you- foreigner
i sat there and listened to every song crying. i knew how bad i had messed up, i knew how much the truth always meant to billy. everyone thought he was this big asshole but he really wasn't, it was his father.
he didn't allow anyone to get close because to him it wasn't worth it. he didn't do relationships because everyone he ever loved left him. he disappeared when he told me the truth so i didn't have to be around the abuse he endured from his father, but i chose to be with him regardless of it. i almost left him the night of my accident not intentionally.
instead of him pushing me away, i pushed him away. ever since i found out the truth about who eddie was it was like i had given up on billy. i began treating him like how eddie treated me towards the end. i was being secretive, and sneaky. i wasn't present in our day to day life, and i had shut him out. he kept trying to fix us and do anything he could but I wouldn't even let him try, and i just now am seeing it.
i could feel him watching me at susans, i was happy to be there but i wasnt present, then anytime we did anything together, i wasn't there emotionally. and with my pregnancy i wasnt there either, but billy was. he was there every second, for every little thing, the problem wasn't him..
it was me.
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memories started flooding my mind, i fucked up. i treated billy like he didn't matter. he was busting his ass everyday for me and for our future and i couldn't even respect him enough to tell him about eddie, instead i went behind his back and broke his trust. i knew if he would've done the same to me, i wouldn't be handling it as well as he was.
i got the phone and dialed susan's number, i had no idea what i would even say. "hello this is susan!" a voice on the other end of the phone said. "hey susan, it's y/n.."
i tried to hide that i had been crying but susan knew me too well.
"hey y/n, are you okay?" she was concerned.
before i could even answer i heard billy take the phone from her. "hey baby, are you okay?"
"no, can you come home? please. we need to talk." my throat was burning i was holding back crying again.
"i'm on my way." he hung up the phone before anything else could come out of my mouth.
susan's was a bit of a drive but i knew billy. if i said something was up, regardless of if he was mad at me or not he would find a way to me, and fast. i swear by the time i stood up to open the curtains his car was in the driveway.
he ran up the driveway and was in the house before i could move "y/n what's wrong? susan said you were crying on the phone? what's going on?" he said picking me up and sitting me on the couch.
"i'm so sorry billy." was all i could get out before the burning in my throat started again but this time i couldn't fight it and started sobbing. "sorry? sorry for what baby?" he wiped the tears off my cheek.
"i-" i took a deep breath so i wouldn't get sick.
"i messed up. i broke your trust. we agreed on no more secrets and i lied. ever since i found out who eddie really was, my head hasn't been here. i've physically been here but that's all. i went into auto piolit. i didn't even realize how nonexistent I was until the night she kicked for the first time and the night i got the note. i knew i needed to end whatever this hold he had over me was. i blamed you and treated you like you were him, like you would leave me too, so i started backing off to protect myself...but you never gave up on me. even though i deserved it."
he just looked at me, we didn't say anything for a while, i finally got my breathing under control when he looked at me, "y/n, i know. you tried to protect yourself so you wouldn't be hurt by someone like him. someone, that everyone told you i was like. looks like we aren't so different after all. when mom left dad made sure to let me know i wouldn't amount to anything, and that i would make the worst partner and father. that's why the thought of a relationship with you made me disappear. I didn't want you to have to go through my bullshit when you were still dealing with yours. but you didn't give up on me, what makes you think i would give up on you?" he raised my chin so we were looking into each other's eyes.
"y/n, you did lie to me, you hurt me, but you didn't break my trust. you stood your ground and protected your family. you did it in a sneaky way that im not happy about but you are your own person and i can't control you. i just wish you would've come to me. if shit would've went wrong i wasn't there to protect you."
he got up and put the tape he made me on. "sorry i could only get a few songs on here, you decided to come out and bother me." he laughed and came and sat back down.
"i love you billy. I don't want anyone else but you."
i kissed him and he picked me up and took me to the bedroom.
