mixtape.

we need to talk.

i followed him into the woods to where the trees began to disappear and there was a lake. it was beautiful, and quiet. as i walked closer i saw that there was a blanket on the ground by the shore line. "did you have this planned?" i said looking up at billy. his face looked concerned, clearly something was on his mind. "yeah i got off work early and came out here." he said sighing.

i had a feeling the whole "we need to talk" was about to happen the second i sat down.

I didn't forget those few months he disappeared and acted like I didn't exist. but i didnt want to bring up the past, but i was the only one that felt that way as billy started talking.

"y/n, i think we should talk."

i sat there in silence for a moment before he continued.

"I'm so sorry that i disappeared that night. i thought it was better for you that you didn't get involved with my shitty life. i know by now you have heard that I don't have a pretty good reputation around here. i thought i was sparing you the heartache and bullshit if i just left you alone. it tore me apart everyday if im being honest. i have never told anyone about neil...about my mom. i would rather people think I'm some big asshole that doesn't care about anyone else but themselves. but then the night of steve's party where i saw you again i couldnt get you out of my head. i heard what eddie said to you, and i could tell he was into you. it made me so mad i honestly wanted to hit him.-"

"fuck see there i go again, just like neil. you dont deserve someone as shitty as me y/n. i come with too much baggage. i break things."

i was speechless I didn't know where this was coming from, I didn't understand how he could see himself this way.

i touched his hand and he grabbed mine tightly

"i would love for you to be mine. you like all the same music i do, you are a spit fire, youre strong willed, you care about everyone around you, and you care about me. you let a stranger that you had only known for 2 days sleep in your bed with you. you made me give a shit about my life. you deserve better than what i have to offer you-"

before he could finish his sentence i pulled him into me. our lips touched, i could feel where neil had busted his lip a few months before.

i never wanted that kiss to end.

he pulled away and we locked eyes again. finally i broke the silence "billy i dont give a shit about what you "think" i deserve. i have a voice too in this, you know?"

"if you want a chance to make things work, don't run from it. I'm a big girl and i can tell you if it gets to be too much. deal?"

"deal." he said looking back down at me then my lips.

"if you want this to turn into more we do dates, and hangout and stuff like that hargrove. no more running, no more shutting me out. balls in your court now." i said before kissing him again.