𝘚𝘗𝘐𝘋𝘌𝘙 𝘉𝘖𝘠 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ peter parker ✓

chapter 35

I brought my knees up to my chest, as I sat on the fire escape outside my bedroom window. The weather was still nice, crisp. Only the sky had grown darker and the stars glimmered like silver rhinestones. It was a nice change from bright, artificial hospital lights. 

A big sigh fell from my lips, and I leaned my head against the railing. I didn't know how this was going to go. Shit, I didn't even know exactly what I needed to tell him. But I knew it was stuff that'd been buried for too long, stuff I hadn't even come to terms with yet. My life had gone to shambles a month ago, and I had kept all of my feelings locked away since then. To be honest, I still hadn't processed the whole situation yet. It was like it was stuck on a loop in my head. That same night. Almost like a carousel. The nightmares hadn't gotten any better either, even with the prescriptions and medications. I think talking and getting things out of my system would really help, at least that's what my therapist said, in ever single session.

Thoughts cluttered my head, that was, until I saw a figure land a few feet away on the fire escape. It was Peter, of course, as he immediately pulled off his mask, revealing his signature smile and adorable brown eyes.

"New suit, huh?" I stood up, grinning.

His expression brightened at the fact I noticed, "Oh- Yeah, pretty cool, right?"

My lips formed a firm line, realizing this small-talk had to come to end.

"So..."

I looked down at my feet, trying to gather the right words to start off with. His eyes remained on me and his smile slightly dropped. No. I'm just not ready. With that, I softly groaned, resting my head in my hands. Why can't I do this? I

"I'm sorry- I don't think I can." I shivered, turning to open the window, before I felt my wrist being grabbed.

"Y/N, I-It's fine, I get it... But, there is something I need to say."

Peter paced the length of my bedroom, as I sat on my bed, waiting for something. Anything. When he had also insinuated that he also had to get something off his chest, I expected him to actually have something to say once we had climbed through the window. But 10 minutes have passed and not a word had been said. Well, up until now.

"Alright," Fuck it, I thought. I have to be ready. I didn't feel like waiting around for another 10 whole minutes and if I didn't do it now, I knew it would be a long fucking time until I had the courage to try again. This sudden boost of confidence jolted me up, off of the bed. 

"Okay, let me just say this one thing first before until I start rambling my tongue off," My hands rested on my hips and a sullen expression override my previous, blank one, "I just want to say that I am so sorry..."

I glanced at Peter, who's eyebrow was cocked in confusion, obviously about to interject.

"A-And before you start with that 'There's nothing to be sorry for' bullshit-" I stopped myself, noticing I was coming off a little too harsh. I took a deep breath.

"I really am sorry, for dragging you into that shit... I mean you didn't have to... but you did, and it just makes me feel so guilty, well, for... y'know, kind of ignoring you in school..." I trailed off, feeling that familiar sense of regret as my words hit me. 

He pursed his lips, averting his gaze. After a moment of silence, I continued.

"I was sort of a bitch... because... I don't know, I guess Alexander got in my head somehow... I'm not excusing it but..." I rubbed the back off my neck, not sure where else this was gonna go, "I'm sorry... Sorry that I dragged you to some shitty hospital, sorry you almost bled to death because of my shitty boyfriend, sorry you're still here, even after we went through all that-"

"Y/N, you didn't drag me anywhere..." He sighed, lightly shaking his head, "That was my choice, alright? Don't beat yourself up over something you didn't decide."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, slowly processing his words. 

"And, listen, with everything that has happened, you ignoring me a couple times at school is the least of my concern right now."

A small, relieved smile replaced my frown and I sat back down on my bed. He followed, leaving almost no space between us. Butterflies fluttered deep in my stomach once I remembered the last thing I needed to throw out there. I was tired of dancing around it like I used to, so I spared no time getting to the point.

"I think... I think the reason I ignored you was because... I was scared that I would end up... liking you?" The last words were said in a high-pitched voice, as if I was asking a question. But it wasn't a question.

My gaze was kept to the floor but he was staring straight at me. I cracked my fingers nervously, in response to the awkward silence that seemed to be going on forever.

"Why do you think I kept coming back?" a grin was plastered on his face when I turned to look at him. 

I quietly chuckled but it was cut short when I realized just how close his face was to mine. 

a/n: hiii my loves, hope ur doing fine. we're so close to end of this book and as much as I loved writing it, my motivation is spreading thin so im going to do the best i can to make a good ending <3 anyways hope ur enjoyed this chapter. bye!!

excuse any typos/mistakes, too lazy to re-read.