I BECAME THE VILLAIN OF A NOVEL | BOOK I

Volume 2 - The Beginning of the End| 52: No time to doubt.

"Well, if you aren't listening then I'll repeat it to you," the seven foot tall woman mumbled, taking a deep smoke from the pipe then exhaling it. "I promise that I'll be there to protect you, so just come with me because I really have other things to do after this, so just trust me and let's go, alright?"

I didn't answer as I am still deep in thought, pondering my conversation with Adarna, and as I recalled those memories, the realisation also slowly sinks into my head that the sacred bird mentions heavenly beings so many times. 

Heck, the bird even mentions gods and goddesses. 

"Stupid, so bloody stupid," I repeatedly said as I slapped my forehead multiple times, feeling a pulsating burning pain in my head.

"Kid, what are you doing?" Said Joan Truman, staring at me in distraught and alarm. "You're injured, don't do that."

But I didn't listen, however, I did stop hurting myself as I started laughing looking at the painting in the ceiling. 

"Ha…haha…hahahahahahAHAHAHA!"

In my peripheral vision, Joan Truman takes a step back; she looks at me like I'm going crazy. 

Well, maybe I am.

Adarna mentioned it to me so many times, and yet I didn't notice this crucial information; I was too preoccupied on how to become enlightened or how to find a saint during that conversation; that I subconsciously ignored those important details. 

Not to mention that after having those conversations with Adarna, I didn't have time to ponder and reflect with myself. In addition to all of that ridiculous shit, Alexandra threw another piece of news to me after the sacred bird left; the red haired woman dragged me to a brutal savage place, leaving me alone to fend for myself. 

Everything happened so quickly; that I have no room to think for a second and doubt everything in this world. No time to doubt that bloody book. 

It felt like a thunder just struck me in the head and made me aware of how dumbly slow, naive, and ignorant I am.

Admitting it in my thoughts made me stop laughing immediately. Putting down the pillow, I stared at nothing again in a trance. 

I took a deep shaky breath, sighing tremblingly. Slowly, salty tears started building up in my eyes, feeling my blood surging in rage.

"Kid? You alright?" Joan Truman asked, looking at me with tense apprehension. 

I didn't answer; I only gaze at her in a trance, while warm liquid fell sliding down to my cheeks.

Joan Truman stared at me bewildered at my sudden mood changes. She approached me hesitantly; moving her legs step by step in a very slow motion, then she sat at the opposite side of the bed. 

"Want to smoke it out?" Joan Truman recommended, raising her pipe in front of my face suggestively.

I shook my head, wiping the tears in my face. "I don't smoke," I replied.

"A shame," the seven foot tall woman muttered as she shrugged, putting the pipe back to her mouth, smoking again, then we both just sat in silence.

My head is filled nothing but resentment

I feel angry at myself. I blame Alexandra for bringing me here, but I know deep down that the one who brought all the trouble to us in the end is me. That time in the forest; that time with that little girl; and that time with Bakunawa are all decisions I made that brought trouble to me.

It's all because of me why Pula is…

My face crumpled recalling those memories in the Dregs Arena. I don't think I would be able to forgive myself if Pula…