Second Chance At Love

Bonus Chapter Two.

Cgc Scott

I make sure there are bottles of milk in the fridge before closing it. I wipe my tired eyes with my fingers as I shake my head. It's about two in the afternoon and I haven't slept all night. I didn't forget how much work a newborn baby was but it certainly wasn't this hard the last two times. Brooks Scott is only four months old. Unlike his older sister and brother, he hates sleep. He seems to never want to do it. My lack of sleep comes from him. He decided to stay up all night, crying his deadly cry. I was able to put him down about ten minutes ago but it's not like I can take a nap. I still have a 4 and 2-year-old wide awake upstairs.

I pour myself some brew in a mug and get one for Brynn as well. She's been up all night too. With the two baby monitors attached to my hip, I make my way upstairs. I peak into Nola's room where she plays with dolls with her younger brother. They're fine. I head into mine and Brynn's room. She sits up, back against the headboard as she stares out the open window in our room. A tear slips slowly down her cheek which gets my heart racing quickly. I set both of our cups down on the nightstand, catching her attention. She's able to wipe the tears before I can. "What's wrong?" I question, even though I know I'll get the same response I've been getting for weeks.

She shakes her head. "I'm just tired," she says. It's a different response.She usually sticks to, "I don't know". Even though we both know what's wrong. I grab her hand and squeeze it, kissing her forehead. "I made you some coffee," I say. She turns her head, glancing at the mug. "I'm okay," she tells me. Her voice sounds hollow like she's barely even there. It makes my heart clench. Seeing Brynn upset is my least favorite thing in the world and these past weeks, I've only seen her smile about two times. I try to hold back my emotions to seeing my fiancé like this. I'm trying to be strong for her.

For both of us.

"I love you," I say faintly. She smiles, so small I barely notice it. A tear slips from her glossy eyes, but I wipe it quickly. "I love you too," she whispers. Her words calm me only a fraction. My eyes burn with emotions but stop when one of the baby monitors lights up with crying noises. Brooks. He's up again. Brynn looks down at the monitor and sighs. She begins to stand but I beat her to it. "I'll get him, it's fine. You need some sleep," I say, lifting the covers over her again. She shakes her head and gets up from the bed. "I need a shower," she tells me. "Okay, yeah. Take your time," I say, kissing her temple.

She nods and walks into our large bathroom, closing the door behind her. I take a long breath, frustration building up inside of me. I step out of my room and make my way down the hall to Brooks' nursery. I close the door behind me to shut out his cries. "Come here," I say over his loud sobs as I lift him up. I check his diaper again. Clean. I fed him just before he took a short-lived nap so there's no way he's hungry again. I hold him against my shoulder and try to put him back to sleep. His shrill cries in my ear aren't anything new but they still hurt me. I hate seeing any of my kids upset especially when I have no idea what they want.

But again, Nola and Kayce weren't this difficult. They weren't angelic, but they weren't this much. I never got this frustrated. "Come on, Brooks. You need sleep," I say to him even though he doesn't understand. I pat his back, his crying not slowing down. I wipe my eyes with my hand again. They burn. Not only from lack of sleep but from emotion. These past two months have been difficult. I don't know when the last time I got decent sleep was. I haven't gone to work in three days. I think the last time I ate was at this time yesterday. I'm taking more care of the kids than myself. I have to. Brynn hasn't been up to it for weeks.

If I don't do it, no one else will.

My phone rings in the pocket of my sweats and Brooks cries slow at the sound. I grab the phone with my free hand. It's Rhys. I pick it up and as soon as Brooks doesn't hear the sound, his cries become louder again. I sigh. "Ouch. Everything okay over there?" Rhys asks. No, I want to say. "He hasn't slept all night. I'm just trying to put him to sleep," I raise my voice enough in hopes he'll hear me over my son's cries. "Have you fed him?" Rhys asks. I nod, even though he can't see me. "Yeah, not that long ago. He just won't sleep," I say a bit of frustration shining through. "Man, fuck," I choke on my words. God, I don't want to be upset. I shouldn't be upset.