A Blessing and a Curse || A Hermitcraft/Watcher AU

Chapter Nineteen

You're getting a Tencia and Daixr cameo even if it's random idc. (If you've read the temptation of power then Tencia is Oリᒷ and Daixr is T∴𝙹, although the books don't take place in the same au I just like the characters.)

Xavon looked down at the mask in his hands and his name on the inside. His purple-singed fingers ran across the edges of the obscure material, and his toes fidgeted beneath him. He was sat cross-legged on a bed with a deep black duvet and purple pillows. Taurtis (that was his name) had told him that Watchers didn't actually need sleep but they sometimes did it anyway for the pleasure. It was weird. He knew he was safe, he knew he was alright, and he knew things were heading for the better, but it still felt weird. He wasn't quite at ease, not yet.

Xisuma had forgiven him, they'd left on good terms. It was too late to save season eight, but season nine was prepared and it would be okay. The hermits would be leaving soon. But it was still his fault. He was still trying to sort out his emotions. He knew, logically, that everything was okay now. And he knew that it was going to be okay. But his mind had sunk to the bottom of the ocean. It was still his fault.

He put his mask back on and crossed his arms tightly, leaning forwards. With the hand on top, he subconsciously dug his fingers into his arm against the still relatively fresh cuts. He felt slightly shaky, as if he'd had too much coffee. A knock echoed into the dark room.

"Come in."

"Hi." Gri- no, Xelqua, said as he opened the door. Xavon nodded in acknowledgement. "Mind if I...?" He asked, gesturing into the room.

"Yeah, 'course." The new Watcher answered, and Xelqua came in and sat on the bed in front of him.

"How are you taking it all?"

"Still... processing it." He replied.

"That's fair enough." Xelqua said understandingly. "Becoming a Watcher is difficult."

"Oh yeah it is," Taurtis, who happened to be walking past outside, agreed. "Xelqua went through a power hungry phase when he changed."

"Shut up!" Xelqua yelled, turning around. Taurtis put his head around the door.

"What?" He said defensively. "I did warn you I'd tell him all your embarrassing stories. What do you take me for, a liar?"

Xavon chuckled as Xelqua shot the door closed with purple fire.

"Don't listen to him, it's all lies." He told him, before glancing down for a second and seeing the way his hand was digging into his arm. Xavon immediately let go, but he could tell that Xelqua recognised the movement. His eyes looked away sheepishly. "It's true though; becoming a Watcher is difficult and it can change people. It doesn't help that most people hate us, I mean I don't dare go back to my parents after changing because their server, including them, hate Watchers."

"That's..." Xavon said, trailing off as he failed to find words.

"Yeah, it's not all bad though. Magical powers, wings, cool looking style..." Xavon smirked. He couldn't believe how much energy he'd spent pushing Grian and Pearl away when they'd been there to help him all along. Maybe the same applied to Xisuma. But... what he'd done wasn't just the pull of being a Watcher, was it. He was just selfish and evil, and he'd finally had means for his motives. He didn't deserve any of this.

His eyes drifted down to his hands.

"Look," Xelqua said and he glanced up to see his eyes filled with a new seriousness, "when I first joined the Watchers, I had PTSD. So did Taurtis, and I suppose to an extent we still do." He said thoughtfully. Xavon listened. "We went to the same high school where... well, we were friends with someone called Sam and... he did bad things, to us and to others. We'll tell you about him another time but... you know, becoming a Watcher didn't make it go away, it didn't make our lives suddenly perfect. Sure, it was better, I mean we had magic what more could you want? But... things like that, they don't go away overnight. I didn't wake up one morning with a mind full of daisies and roses. It was years of help and support from each other and our mentors, and it was a slow process with ups and downs. And I still wouldn't say I'm completely free from it, I still have the occasional nightmare or panic attack, but it's better. Life is so much better now.