A Better Boyfriend (GirlxGirl)

Forty-nine- Scarlet

Everything felt simpler when I was with Destiny.

I supposed I had been complicating things.

I had been worrying, but I had this feeling that Destiny wouldn't hurt me.

After everything I had been through, Destiny had stood by my side.

Perhaps that was why I was scared of moving further with her.

I was worried that if things went wrong, I would lose the person that meant the most to me in the whole universe.

I couldn't do that.

However, I also knew that I needed to take this chance.

I needed to allow myself an opportunity to fall in love again.

I needed her. More than anything. More than I could admit out loud.

"Scarlet," Destiny said, prompting me to turn to her.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I'm glad we're talking more. I'm glad we've had this time," she said.

"I don't want it to end," I said softly.

Destiny's eyes flashed with realisation then.

"It won't end, Scarlet. Why should any of this ever have to end?" she asked me.

I was so worried about being left that I hadn't allowed myself the chance to be truly happy, to truly go for what I wanted.

I needed to be brave.

"Because-" I wasn't sure where to go with that utterance.

"Because you're worrying," she said.

That was pretty much the truth, but I didn't want to admit it.

"I'm not worrying, I just-"

"You are," she said. "What are you so afraid of?"

"Of losing someone I love again," I blurted, sooner than I could stop myself.

"You won't lose me. I could be really, really good for you, Scarlet, if you'd just let me try," she said, and I realised that she probably hadn't fully processed what I had said yet.

Maybe she wouldn't read too much into it.

At least, it wasn't as though I had flat out said "Destiny, I am in love with you."

I had to take a moment to think on this.

Did I love Destiny?

As a best friend, of course I loved her, but this was different.

This love was changing.

I loved her in the way you would love a girlfriend.

All that was missing was the title.

"It's getting chilly," I said, changing the subject.

Destiny released a gentle breath, her expression becoming more serious. Her smile had disappeared, now. I knew why, of course. It was because I was avoiding the subject. I knew I would talk about all of this with her soon enough, though. I simply needed to work up the courage to do so.

"Borrow my hoodie," Destiny said, as she passed it to me.

I put it on and instantly relaxed.

It smelt just like her.

That made sense.

After all, it was Destiny's hoodie.

Plus, it was very cosy and comfortable. If only I could keep it...

Perhaps she was right in all she had said.

She could definitely be better than Chase. Miles better.

She would treat me the way that I deserved.

I wouldn't have to worry about anything, would I?

Things would be better.

The only thing was that was the same thing I had told myself before previous relationships.

Then again, Destiny wasn't just anyone. She was my best friend. We had been through so much together.

I swallowed hard. My heart was racing. It felt as though it was breaking.

Destiny hadn't done anything, of course.

I was breaking it with my own overthinking.

When we reached the house, Destiny headed into the kitchen, and I followed suit.

She got herself a drink and then turned back to me.

"I wouldn't ever leave you alone," she said.

Chase had left me alone.

"You were refreshing your phone every twenty minutes praying and hoping that you would get a response from him, and he never answered you," she continued. "You don't deserve someone who chooses you when it suits them. You deserve someone who always chooses you. Someone who puts you first. If you had continued drinking, then you could have ended up going home with someone else," she said.

"I'm not like that," I said.

Was I?

"It wouldn't have happened, of course, because I would have brought you home with me. that's besides the point..." Destiny said. There were lines on her forehead now from where she was becoming frustrated by all of this, and I could sympathise with that. I had never meant to make all of this so complicated. I could make it peaceful again.

I walked over to Destiny and wrapped my arms around her.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," I started to say, "But thank you so much for always looking out for me."

As I drew back from the embrace, Destiny's sapphire blue eyes locked with mine again.

She had always been so compassionate towards me and I'd be lying if I didn't say I cared more about her than I did myself. Destiny was precious to me. She always would be.

I loved her.

I just didn't even know where to start in letting her know how much I loved her.

"Do you want some cookies and milk?" Destiny asked, as she put some cookies on a plate and added some milk, before placing them in the microwave for a few seconds.

"Yes please," I said.

I'd have to be especially careful not to get cookie crumbs all over the hoodie that Destiny had lent me.

Destiny smiled and grabbed two spoons.

"Tuck in, sweetheart," she said.

This was basically a feast to the two of us, when we were kids.

There was no meal greater than cookies and milk. It was godly.

"You see, apple slices and peanut butter are like... a basic meal. Cookies and milk are a feast for queens like us," Destiny had said when we were kids and had started making this creation.

She was right. It was damn delicious.