Keep quiet

6th grade orientation

Today was 6th grade orientation,

I woke up happy.

I didn't think about him.

My eyes wern't puffy like they were each other day.

I talked to him, and found out that he deleted my number,

I told him to listen to 'Stomach Tied In Knots' By Sleeping With Sirens

He said that he liked that song,

That Song Described Everything For Me.

I asked him if he knew what I was trying to say by that song, he said "nope"

I don't think he even listened to it....

I told him nearly everything I wanted to say to him,

And I told him that I needed him.

I pretty much asked him back,

I sent him the lyrics to the song and he said, "Okay okay no more lyrics I get it." I said, "But you said you don't get it. You didn't know what I was trying to say." And then about 2 and 1/2 hours later I said "I still love you. But I know you don't want to talk to me and I'm probably annoying you. So goodnight sorry."

But he didn't really give me an answer,

I think I annoyed him.

Maybe I should give up.

As I'm writing this, I have to keep myself from crying.

Maybe I should forget, but what if I never forget about him?

No one else has ever liked me at all.

And I ruined this,

Maybe I should have never even started talking to him.

Because he's forgot about me, but I can't forget about him/

But I went to school at 7AM to practice my viola.

The whole morning was good,

Until...

The choir guys sang,

They sang 'Gone Gone Gone' by Phillip Phillips I felt my eyes tear up,

And I started to cry.

No one saw me thankfully.

I need him, but he don't need me, and he moved on, while I still sit here crying, wanting him back, needing him back, I fucked up bad this time, that's all I am, All I am is a huge fuck up, no one needs me here, I'm nothing without him

"See the problem isn't you, it's me, I know

I can tell, I've seen it time after time

And I'll push you away (mmm)

I get so afraid, oh, no

And I can't live without you now

I can't even live with myself

And I can't live without you now

And I don't want nobody else

I only have myself to blame

But do you think we can start again?

'Cause I can't live without you"