Keep quiet

What I Did

I told him I might not be able to text Much if my mom found out what I did This weekend.
He ask "what did you do?"
I told him, "I wanted to open up the Veins by my hand."
He got mad,
"Why would you do that?"
"first Alex, and now you?"
He wouldn't text me back the next day.
I asked my friend to get him to text me.
She told him "text your girlfriend"
And he said "no"
Later on I told him not to ignore me.
He was mad about what I did.
I apologized.
But I guess that's how it is...
Having a suicidal girlfriend and all.
I don't want to hurt him,
Or make him angry.
But the relief of cutting.
I know it only lasts a second.
But that's a second of no pain.
I want to rip my veins open.
I see the one on my arm.
So long, going down.
I just want it opened.
My mom went through those messages.
Told me to pull up my sleeves.
The good thing is,
She never found my thigh,
And leg cuts.
She got mad,
And took away my phone for the night.
My friend texted me,
"What's going on,
He's grooming his hair,
That means something's wrong?"
I worried him that night.
And if you're somehow reading this,
I really doubt you would be.
But if you are,
I'm sorry I fucked up that day.
Please forgive me.