Keep quiet

Trust no one

What is wrong with me I broke rule number one the most important rule
'Never become attached.' I broke that rule and it's still broke. I became attached. And I got hurt. But he says it was all a joke. So we're still together. I feel so happy because of it. But am I making a mistake? My ex best friend hates me. Because she thinks I told him things about her family. But I didn't I don't know how he knows. But it wasn't me. Anytime I try to talk go her she tells me to wt away and cusses. This time I'm not chasing her. This time I'm not going to be upset. This time I wasn't upset. She told people about me being pansexual. I didn't want anyone to know. I trusted her. But it's all because he told her that I told him things about her family. Rule number two 'Trust no one' I broke rule number two also. I'm braking rules faster than I can slice a cut into my skin. I'll post my rules later. God I love him. But he's a dick to all my friends and they hate him. Rule number four 'Don't fall in love. Don't love.'
My ex best friend says she's been talking to him. But he never responded back to me until yesterday. He said he got his phone taken up. And it was still taken up he was only using it because his parents went to a new years party in Texas. New Years party? In April? I don't know what to believe. 'Trust no one.' This world is a horrible place. I'm thinking of new ways to kill myself each day. And each day I think of trying a way or combining ways to get a better result of death.
I have became way to trusting of people. I need to stop.