The Winds Bring with them Change (Volume 1)

14: Love Changes You, or You Change Yourself

Xiao was with the rest of the mortals now, his arm throbbing where he'd been hit and his head pounding with the voices that had yet to cease. Aether and Yanfei both insisted he rested, and though he protested to the idea of a Yaksha resting at all, they ended up forcing him to sit. When he sat it gave him a chance to fully feel all his pain. His legs and the gashes on his limbs ached, and he shut his eyes, a sad attempt at the rest his (maybe) friends forced on him.

Xiao felt as Aether stood before him, his shadow not leaving for a while as Xiao simply focused on recharging everything that might need to be recharged. It sounded for a second as if Aether was going to ask him something, but then the shadow over him left soon after. Though he sort of wished Aether had stayed, he also knew that the whole reason he had come to the Chasm in the first place was to try and lay his past to rest as much as he could. And as much as he would like the support of his sort of friends, he also felt as if this was something he could and should take on himself.

His old life must be dealt with before he would be able to move on in any capacity. Perhaps taking care of this would help him to understand where he was wanting to go with his new life as well. He allowed himself to listen carefully to the other's conversations, tilting his head a little in their direction.

"Is the little guy ok?" The Oni sounded sweet, if not a little slow. Aether made a sound to the affirmative, and the smallest of smiles made its way onto Xiao's lips. He really had to stop doing that. One of these days someone was going to catch him smiling at the blonde traveler and then he would really be in trouble. But until then, he went back to fighting off the exhaustion and screams to the best of his ability. For a moment, he wondered why Venti wasn't here, his music able to obliterate Xiao's pain so easily, but he knew the ex-Archon was most likely back in Mondstat, singing for the townspeople and seeing his friends. Plus, as the god of Freedom, he definitely wouldn't like being trapped underground with no way out in sight.

Not that any of the others liked it much, but it would definitely be worse as an infinitely free being, and maybe he would get worried about them and inform Zhongli, maybe Zhongli already knew. Or if worse came to worse, then his Lord couldn't see them down here at all, which depending on what kind of energy this space runs on, might be possible.

"Xiao?" He kept his eyes shut, the whole energy conserving thing keeping him from opening them. Paimon continued, her voice squeaky but tired sounding. For the first time since he'd met the little pixie, Xiao felt a bit concerned for her. In all they'd endured, her and Aether had never seemed tired in the slightest. He tilted his head the most he could manage whilst still focusing heavily on conserving energy.

"Does that mean you're listening?" She paused for a moment, then continued haltingly, "Aether is worried about you. I think he should be more worried about us getting out of here, but..." And she drifted off with a sigh. "He likes you Xiao, he think highly of you and he won't listen to me." He heard her leave with a whoosh like she usually did and let his mind take him again.

Maybe bringing up his own concerns with Aether would allow the blonde room to speak his own fears into the world. Perhaps he had his own issues with freedom that Xiao had overlooked in his shallow admiration of the traveler, and maybe it would be easier to exist with his own fear if he knew that someone else was as afraid as he was. But for now, he still needed to get all of them out of this horrific death trap that they somehow ended up in, to bring his past to a close, finally.

And maybe if he was lucky, he'd make it out as well.

But they were all mortal, with futures and lives and people who loved them.

Xiao didn't have those things. He had a mission and plans, but though he was beginning to think he might love people, they did not yet love him back. So if a sacrifice was to be made, he was the obvious choice for it. The only one without connections to people. The only one strong enough to get them out even with a sacrifice.

He had known this might be his companions only way out since he had realized what it was they were trapped in, and he knew it would be the only way they would get out. He also knew that Yanfei would never allow him to do such a thing, and Aether might even volunteer himself.

But when Yelan started asking about ways out, his first suggestion was using every ounce of power he possessed to blast a hole in whatever hellscape they were trapped in, but Yelan insisted that all of them were going to make it out alive, and that included their resident self-sacrificing immortal. He stormed off, his head aching with all the energy this stupid domain seemed to be pulling from him every second he wasn't actively storing it away.

Unfortunately the Oni heard Xiao's suggestion and insisted that he was the strongest in all of Teyvat and that he could do it without inevitably killing himself, then he ran into the cave wall as hard as he could. Xiao would've fell over if it weren't for Aether grabbing at his elbow and steadying him carefully as rocks fell around them and a hole opened in the place the Oni hit.

He then promptly fainted, and Xiao could feel his exhaustion rolling off him in waves. He could nearly taste what he must be dreaming about, brief flashes of roasting purple fruits and a group of happy looking people laughing around a campfire echoing in his head. He shook the feeling, the taste off desperately, taking a step away from the group.

He hadn't noticed that Aether was still holding him, and in stepping away, he tore his arm from the blonde's grasp, earning a confused look from said blonde. He offered what he was hoping was a convincing enough half-smile. Yelan suggested they all rest up a bit more before trying to escape, and the electro one agreed while she dragged her Oni friend closer to the fire. Paimon nodded with a sleepy expression, as if everyone's exhaustion had caught up to them all at once. Xiao watched from his corner as she curled into the Oni's side and promptly fell asleep.

Xiao leaned his even more achy body back against the cave wall, trying to find solace in the cold pressed hard against his skin. He tried to melt into the cold, let it carry away his pain like waves in the darkness. A warm side brushed up against his own, similarly warm fingers finding his. He couldn't bear to open his eyes, knowing from the way he breathed, the soft way he placed his head on Xiao's shoulder, the hoarse mumble from almost never using his voice besides the occasional shout of pain or fear, that it was Aether. Xiao knew that he trusted him, but that he trusted him in this horrible place, to still be himself afterwards meant a lot.

So he allowed himself to also trust in Aether, and he slipped into the deep darkness of sleep, an unusual dream weaving through his mind. He was in Liyue, up high on a mountaintop where he hadn't been since all the Yaksha were together. And there they were. His friends. Alive.

Not real. They giggled at him while he watched a version of himself pout at Bosacius, who'd dyed all his clothing varying shades of purple. He let a tear stream down his cheek, watching them all together once more. How it should've been until they'd all died simultaneously in some big battle for the good of all of Teyvat.

The scene changed into another stupid memory of them all together. This time talking about the future of Liyue and where exactly they stood in a future world that probably wouldn't need them anymore. He couldn't control the sob that left his body at their optimism, their plans for a future he hadn't even wanted to see. What awful irony left him here while they were gone forever?

He woke shaking, tear trails leading down his face as the others slept peacefully. He gazed over his shoulder at Aether's face. He looked troubled, even in his sleep, the burden of this place weighed him down so heavily.

He would do what he had to to get them out of here. If that meant his death, then so be it. But if he got them out alive, he wasn't going to start over like he'd been thinking he would. Instead he was going to take his pain and his anger and build a better person than he'd been. And if it was necessary that he revisit his past to do that, then he would go as far back as he dared.