Second Chances [BxB]

eight

"You know I'm attracted to you, Declan." Sebastian groaned in frustration, "Actually, maybe you don't, because if you did, we wouldn't be having this conversation." He sighed.

"But you won't touch me?"

Sebastian shook his head, "I won't."

"Oh, fuck you and your noble bullshit." Declan complained.

"You almost had a breakdown on my sofa." Sebastian reminded him gently.

Declan's eyes fluttered shut, and he took a deep breath. He didn't say anything for a moment, but the silence between them wasn't unpleasant. When it was broken, Sebastian almost missed it. "Can we just pretend that that never happened?" Declan pleaded.

"I used to be really good at sweeping things under the rug, y'know?" Sebastian murmured, tugging at the hem of his t-shirt distractedly, "But after rehab, and counselling, and a million NA meetings..." He sighed, "I learnt that that's...well, it's not healthy. It's actually pretty dangerous."

Declan still wasn't looking at him, "I don't know what you want from me, Sebastian." He said, "The only thing I can offer you is sex. I can't...I can't give you whatever you're after right now."

"I'm not after anything." Sebastian promised, "I'm just letting you know that...well, it's alright to...to talk about-"

"Oh, fucking hell." Declan moaned, "No. No, we're not doing this."

"Fine." Sebastian knew better than to push him any further.

Declan nudged his forgotten pasta around the bowl in disinterest, his lower lip caught between his teeth. Sebastian watched him do it, and had to remind himself that Declan wasn't here for anything other than sex. If Sebastian let himself forget that, even for a second, his heart might start getting the wrong idea.

"I'm sorry." Sebastian said, "Earlier, the way I talked to you..."

Declan scoffed, his eyes finally locking with Sebastian's, "It was hot."

Sebastian shook his head, "No. No, really, I went too far-"

"I liked it, Sebastian."

"Well, you shouldn't have." Sebastian said shortly, "I'm really trying to...to be better. To be nicer."

"I don't like nice guys."

Sebastian stared at him, lost for words. He was trying to make this right, but Declan wouldn't let him. He thought - not for the first time - that the boy in front of him was dangerous in a way that Sebastian never could have anticipated.

"Okay." Declan gave in to defeat, "I accept you apology." Declan offered him an encouraging smile, and Sebastian felt the tension leave his body in a wave of relief.

"Thank you."

Declan hooked his foot around Sebastian's ankle under the table, and gave it a playful tug. It wasn't an invitation for anything more than what it was; plain affection.

"You tired?" Sebastian asked.

"Knackered."

"My bed's pretty comfortable."

Declan laughed, and the sound of it warmed Sebastian from the inside out. "Are you gonna be joining me in there?" Declan rose his brows questioningly.

Sebastian shook his head, "I'll take the sofa."

"Sebastian." Declan whined. The sound of his name on Declan's tongue did all sorts of things to Sebastian's body. He had to suppress the heat that prickled at his skin. "We've already shared a bed once." Declan went on, "I don't see why we can't do it again."