Second Chances [BxB]

twenty three

Sebastian was sitting in a coffee shop, his hands trembling as he brought a steaming mug to his lips, his eyes frantically darting around the cafe, searching for a familiar face.

He and Felix had decided to meet somewhere halfway between their respective towns. Sebastian was an hour from home, his return train ticket tucked into his back pocket, his thumb tracing a circle around his pinky, imaging a ring there.

His heart didn't stop pounding, so instead, he imagined Declan's face. His big green eyes, and wide toothy grin. He imagined Declan's soft curls between his fingers, and, vaguely wondering why he was so obsessed with Declan's hair, felt a soft smile tug at the corners of his lips.

"Sebastian!"

Sebastian jolted, his eyes snapping up to meet Felix's.

Suddenly, he was seventeen again.

He was pinning Felix to a wall, and hissing a variety of insults at him. Felix was grinning at him, teasing him, telling him he was his new roommate.

So much had changed.

Nothing had changed.

"Felix." Sebastian stumbled to his feet, hesitating as he scanned Felix up and down. His hair was pulled back with a bandana, and a silver earring hung from his lobe. He was dressed in jeans and a tight t-shirt that clung to his chest and rode up to reveal a sliver of his stomach. He looked so different. He also looked exactly the same.

Sensing his hesitation, Felix slipped his arms around Sebastian's waist, and pulled him into a tight hug. Felix's body pressed to his felt so familiar, and yet, so unnatural.

When he pulled away, he dropped down into a seat, and Sebastian sat down opposite him.

"You look good." Felix smiled, "You look..." He tilted his head to the side in contemplation, "You look healthy."

Sebastian smiled back, "Well, I was on drugs the last time you saw me, so..." He instantly regretted saying something so thoughtless, and quickly searched his brain for a diversion, "And I'm a vegetarian now, so...I don't know...maybe that helps." He looked down at his coffee, desperate to shield his glowing cheeks.

Felix rose his brows, "No shit, really?"

"Yeah." Sebastian laughed incredulously. He thought about Declan again, and the little pieces of him that Sebastian carried around with him. He glanced back up at Felix, "And hey, you look good, too."

"Thanks." Felix replied cheerfully, "I try."

"Your hair's not blue anymore." Sebastian noted.

"Grew it out." Felix ran a hand through his caramel curls, "D'you like it?"

"It's nice." He barely recognised Felix without blue hair. He looked like a different person. After all this time, he was a different person.

Felix sighed heavily, his smile slowly dying, "Are we gonna talk about...?" He paused, contemplating his next words carefully, "Well, all of it, I suppose."

Sebastian knew that the small talk wouldn't - couldn't - last forever, but he had hoped for just a few more minutes; a few more minutes of pretending like everything was normal, like they were just two old friends catching up. But nothing had ever been simple between Sebastian and Felix. Nothing had ever been easy.