nineteen

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TW: Explicit sexual assualt, body shaming, implicit racism, body image issues and alcohol

but there's also fluff, fear not😌

Was I ready for this? I had no idea to be honest.

Suddenly I was seated in the waiting room amongst at least fifty others. I was in the last group of people, my knee bobbing anxiously up and down as I watched people, one by one, disappear into the doors of the casting directors. I had no idea how long time I spent there. All I knew was that I probably should've brought some more food along, because I was starting to get hungry. The line of people had no hurry, good thing I had nothing else planned for my weekend. Na-ra was nowhere in sight, thankfully, maybe she was one of the firsts to audition. Perhaps they had already given her the role, perhaps she was just that good at acting. In my bag were my headshot resume and my script. I had practiced it down to a T and I knew it by heart, I could probably recite it in my sleep if you asked me to.

It had been way too long since I'd last gone to an audition. I felt my anticipation build enormously high as I waited for my turn, when I was finally called up it had gone dark outside a long time ago. I felt every step towards the door ricochet up my body, through my bones like a shock. The sky outside was ominously black and stormy, like something was wrong, but I turned my head to it. I walked through the doors and put on a dashing smile, one that you would remember and oozed of confidence.

"Hello," I said and walked up towards the table where two men were seated. I placed my headshot on the table before them and stepped back. "I'm Min Y/n."
One of them smiled sickly sweet at me. "Hi Y/n, I'm Han-Wool, but you can just call me Han. Nice to meet you. And you are... how many years?" He spoke up as the other skimmed through my resume. The man that spoke was old, his black hair had grey streaks that were slicked back from the front, as if he had tried to cover them up to no avail. Like he was clinging onto his youth.
"I'm twenty." I said and held my hands behind my back, trying to keep them from fidgeting and revealing my nervousness. Han-Wool took his time in letting his eyes rake over my body. Observing everything from my shoes to the top of my head with a proper intensity, his eyes were greedy. I couldn't help but squirm a bit uncomfortably, I knew it was just because he needed to see how I looked and if I were fit for the role. But still, the way his eyes darkened, and a sly smile played at his lips, it didn't feel quite right.

I was saved by the other man. He was on the younger side. "Y/n, you study at Seoul acting school, is that right?" He asked, looking up from the papers. A pair of glasses sat on his nose. "Yes, sir. I am a first year." I said with a gentle smile.
"And you're American?"
"Yes, I moved here just about half a year back." A few more questions followed, about the role, about my former acting and so on. "Okay, I think that's it. Y/n if you would please just stand there-" the younger man chirpily said and pointed at an x on the floor. "-yep, right there! And look into the camera. Then you're good to begin."
I glanced first at the two men, then began acting out my script. Throughout my script, I looked up. The younger man was watching me with a calm professionalism, taking a few notes throughout. The older man, however sat with his fingers threaded through each other while his ruddy head was tilted, and his eyes kept on moving from my face and downwards my body. I felt a shiver run down my spine; the room felt oddly cold.

They both smiled when I finished. "Very good, very good indeed..." Han-Wool drawled slowly and the younger cut in. "We'll let you know if we want you to come back. Thank you for coming."
"Thank you for letting me audition." I said with a smile and began making my way out. From behind me I could hear them chatting, something along the lines of desperately needing a coffee break. Only a handful of people were left in the waiting room as I began walking down the hall again. Then I heard someone from the back of the hall, opposite of the waiting room. I looked around, the hallway was dark, and a looming shadow stood in the end. They stepped out into the light, and it was none other than the casting director. "Y/n!" He called after me. I felt my stomach churn, maybe I should just walk away. "I want to talk to you about something- how about a cup of coffee?" He asked with a smile on his face and open arms. I contemplated it. I couldn't risk losing an opportunity. If he were to talk to me about the role, I needed it. No matter how many creep vibes he gave off. Besides, he would be professional, right? And I was just paranoid... Right?
"Um, sure."

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