I don't even know anymorea
America: San Marino, you've been on around for thousand of years. right?
San Marino: perhaps, maybe. I lost count on how many years I have lived.
America: are you a virgin?
San Marino:... what?
America: damn, thousands of years of living and you still have no bitches?
San Marino:
America:.... Please put down the knife.
~~~
America, walking in the room: AUSSIE AND BRAZIL, ARE YOU COMING OR--
Australia and Brazil: *making out*
Brazil:
Australia:
America: Oh, you're being gay. Good job, carry on.
~~~
America: Can you keep a secret?
Switzerland: Do you know anything about me?
America: No I do not. Good point.
~~~
America: shout out to water for keeping throat sufficiently lubricated for optimal screaming techniques
New Zealand: that literally got weirder with every word you said
~~~
Poland: Germany sleeps after us and is up before us. Does he even sleep?
America: I think he just periodically makes a whirring noise and powers down
~~~
Italy: where's America?
Vatican City: probably off somewhere disappointing Jesus
~~~
Russia: For once I want to get fucked by something that's not my life.
America: well do I have the offer for you
~~~
America: this was a terrible idea! Why didn't any of you stop me?
Canada: because you didn't tell us! Why didn't you tell us?
America: because you would have stopped me!
~~~
America @ most of the middle east: YOU- ...
America: Canada, how much would I owe the swear jar if I said *whispers*
Canada: Oh, that's at least 10 bucks
America: *looks in his wallet*
America, heavily disappointed: I can't afford that.
~~~
Portugal: You know when I was age—
America: You know when I was your hight—
Portugal:
Portugal: You're going to die
~~~
France: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?
America: You bet!
France: What temperature did you set it to?
America: 535
France: ....That's the clock.
America: 536.
~~~
America: I got kicked out of the house because I'm "annoying" and "reckless" and "America"
America: That last one was my name, but you should have heard Canada's tone
~~~
America: When I was little, I wanted Spider Man powers, so I found a spider and let it bite me.
America : Later that day my parents took me to a doctor and I got diagnosed with ADHD.
America: For years I was afraid that getting bitten by the spider, instead of giving me super powers, had given me ADHD.
~~~
America: are these brownies...special?
Canada: they are
[later]
America: i don't feel anything, are you sure there's weed in the brownies?
Canada: they are special because i made them with love, you little shit
~~~
Afghanistan: hey, sorry if this is weird, but are you one of the people who hate me?
America: hi! It's not weird at all! Yes I am <3
~~~
America: If I'm not back in an hour, I've probably made another huge mistake
~~~
Britain: now son, i know we don't always see eye-to-eye on things, but—
America: that's because you're short
Britain:
America, sweating: i take it back
~~~
America: looking back, i have no regrets
Canada: you should.
Canada: you should have a lot of regrets
America: yup. no regrets
~~~
America: Alright, this what we're gonna do. First of all, take out $5.
Australia, taking out a $5 bill: Why?
America, taking it: I need 5 bucks. Second, do you have five ones for this $5?
Australia: *pulls five singles out of his wallet*
America: *grabs the singles* Great, because my five was lonely.
~~~
America: We have no idea how many stars there are.
Poland: I think there are 7.
America: ...No there are more than 7.
Poland: You just said we have no idea.
America: We know there are more than 7.
Poland: Well apparently you're a liar so I'm even more convinced it's 7.
~~~
America: When I eat alphabet soup, I only eat the vowels
Canada: Why?
America, shrugging: Sometimes.
~~~
America: *holds a gun out to Canada*
Canada: I-I don't believe in guns.
America: Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.
~~~
YOU ARE READING
CountryHumans Incorrect Quotes
Fanfictionyeah uhm.... enjoy some skits, as me and my friends call them. I don't even know what characters are gonna be in here so.... hope it's good! Updates are slow but they will happen!! Also Disclaimer I don't support any of the bad things in this book i...
