Love from the fire

Control

"This small town has so much potential." Gray began to fill the silence. "Everyone here has got talent. On top of that, they're all happy and hardworking. Such simple, sweet people contrast so much from the town that Skylar and I grew up in."

"True, the atmosphere is quite depressing around there. There isn't much to do. Just school, work, family and the park. That's just about it." I added on.

"Oh... Doesn't sound good then. I grew up in this town, as Gray already knows. And I must admit that I've had the better childhood out of the both of us." Miles said.

We chatted a while longer, until we noticed that it was pitch black outside. Then, we all got ready to go to bed.

Miles and Gray slept in a separate part of the boat. From where I was, I had a clear view of the sky and ocean. The only thing making the scenery unclear was the darkness that filled the outside.

Finally, it stopped raining. Yet, my situation kept repeating itself over and over again in my brain. It wouldn't give me a break.

I burned my school down. I quit my job. I abandoned my mom. I ran way from home with a boy I just recently met and became friends with.

Lastly, it doesn't matter how many times Gray calls me smart. I am an idiot. Nothing will make me believe otherwise.

What do I do with my future now? What if I go to jail? What if Gray and I argue and become enemies. What if Mia betrays me?

Mabye those things are out of my control at the moment. However, I get to decide certain things. I get to decide whether I stay here or return to my unloving mom. I get to decide what I want to do with my life if I choose to remain or leave.

I exhale deeply as I attempt to fall asleep. My body feels active so I can't. So, I decided to get up and walk around.

For a few minutes, I walk around the room that I'm in. After, I decide to head out of the room and walk around the rest of the boat, though I'll stay away from where the other two are sleeping.

It's so quiet. Even the sound of the waves hitting the shore is quiet. Soon, I get tired and I go back to sleep.

Yet, anxiety chooses to not leave me alone. It makes me toss and turn and worry about tomorow and the day after. I really feel bad for the people who have to suffer this on an extreme scale on a daily basis. I don't know if I'd be able to manage.

Through all that anxiety, I'm sure that I eventually fall asleep with great difficulty.

In the morning, I was shivering from the cold. I slowly got up and tried to walk around a bit to warm myself up.