puzzle pieces | lloyd g., kai s.

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[Lloyd deals with the memories after the events of Seabound, but losing someone is never as easy as it seems, even if he's been through so many losses already

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[Lloyd deals with the memories after the events of Seabound, but losing someone is never as easy as it seems, even if he's been through so many losses already.]

A/N: listen. listen. listen i have a lot of feelings about seabound and lloyd and kai and nya and sibling relationships and 

• • •


Water. 

Lloyd stared the cool liquid running through his fingers, slipping through every crack in his fisted hands. 

He's reminded of how Nya left, water form falling effortlessly through Jay's crash, away from their desperate screams. 

He wishes more than anything she didn't leave, hadn't took the decision to sacrifice herself for Ninjago City when that was supposed to be his job. He was the green ninja, the one who was supposed to make sure no one died on his watch. And he'd failed, as a leader, a teammate, a brother. 

He lets the clear stream run over his skin for a while, and shuts off the sink with a quiet squeak. 

It's been one, two, three, far too many days without Nya. There were days where everyone dropped their gazes from each other, for the fear of bring reminded again, memories tugged loose from where they were all trying to bury them away. 

Lloyd looks up at the mirror, studying the empty face reflected back at him. Blank green eyes hold a worn stare, glassy with tears.

He slams a hand into the mirror, ignoring the sharp shards splintering into his skin. Blood pours down as it fractures into a spiderweb of cracks, shattering into a million little pieces.  

After Nya melts into the oceans, dragging all remnants of hope with her, there's no one left to piece the team back up when they break. 

Kai disappears for a terrifying two days, and Cole drags him home from a bar, too tired to lecture him on it. Lloyd brings warm soup and soft blankets and quiet 'hope you're okay's' to the fire ninja, but nothing quite shakes him out of it. 

Jay leaves a week after, slipping out in the night. Lloyd wishes he could've left with him, or convinced him to stay so he doesn't lose another teammate, but the lighting ninja is gone without a second thought. It would hurt more if Lloyd didn't know exactly why he left.

Cole is, as always, the steady one, the rock of the team, but he wavers in and out unsteadily. He breaks mechs and machines and training rooms, and spends days fixing them. A part of Lloyd wonders if Cole thinks that if he breaks enough, Nya will come back to scold him and put whatever's broken back together. Which is everyone right now, to be honest. 

Zane is Zane, but not really. The nindroid spends a month grieving, throwing himself into research with Sensei Wu, suggesting crazy plans and ideas to bring the water ninja back. This carries on, day after day and week after week, until one day he steps out of his bedroom, and his face is devoid of emotion.

His rare smiles are fake and mechanical, his movements planned and a little too steady. Lloyd sometimes catches him fingering switches and wires silently, and wonders if he'll ever wake up to another lost family member. 

He wonders that a lot more, now.

Crimson drips steadily down his knuckles, clenched white with anger, and Lloyd is seriously considering taking out the rest of it on the bathroom cabinet when a knock sounds on the door. 

"Lloyd? Are you okay?" Kai's voice echoes through the ceramic walls, sinking into his chest. He drops to his knees, hastily gathering broken glass into a pile, and earns a littering of cuts and scratches for his efforts. 

"Lloyd? Buddy?" The knocking starts up again, more panicked. 

His fingers sting to much to try any more attempts at clearing uptake mess he's left, so Lloyd stands up, opening the door with the faint swing. 

The fire ninja stares at him, gaze filled with worry. "Are you okay?" he ventures cautiously, and Lloyd gives a unconvincing blank nod. He's aware of how he looks, tear stained faces and bloody knuckles not exactly the epitome of okay, but he's also too tired to care.

"Yeah. I just.." he trails off towards the end, unsure of what excuse he could make up for this. "Sorry. I'll clean it up." He says, gesturing towards the crystal mess. 

"No, no, don't-" Kai grabs his hand, wincing at the sight of dark blood swelling up from cuts. "It's okay. Let's, let's get this cleaned up first." He stoops down, swinging open the cupboard door and rummaging through it cabinet for a second, before pulling out a large red box. 

"Here. Sit down." He pushes Lloyd back onto the wall gently, already unzipping the canvas case. He sighs, but sits against the wall, knowing arguing would be pointless. They sit in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds heard being plastic crinkling and folding. 

"How'd this happen?" Kai asks, carefully dragging a wet tissue across his palm. It stings, but Lloyd used to pain.

"Nya."  He says quietly, eyes falling to the wall opposite. He traces the delves and lines with his eyes, and it's enough to temporarily take his mind off the subject. Kai's gaze softens. "I miss her, too." 

"I know. I'm sorry." 

"Why?" Kai asks, twisting open a clear blue jar. He's not the best in the team to take of wounds, but Zane taught them all to take care of the more superficial ones, and he's run through enough missions and close calls to have a general sense of first aid. 

"...Should've saved her. I failed." Lloyd mumbles in response, twisting his blood stained fingers together. He hates the sight, especially after seeing so many teammates almost die on him. 

"Lloyd, look at me. You don't have to be sorry. You did all you could, we all did. This was -"  the fire ninja looks down for a second, fidgeting with the roll of medical tape in his hands.  "-This was her choice." He winds white tapes around the teen's hand gently, tying it off with a small tug.

"There. All done, bud." Kai picks the box off his lap, settling next to Lloyd on the ground. He pulls him into a soft hug, hands threading through blonde locks. "It's okay to be sad, you know?"

Lloyd nods faintly, burying his face into Kai's sweater, tears staining the cloth dark. 

"I want her to come back. It-" his voice cracks, and Kai think the dam of emotions he's been hiding might finally be breaking. "It- just feels like there's there's a missing piece, now, and everyone falls apart without her to hold us together."

"We're like a puzzle," Kai murmurs, and leans his head against the cold ceramic with a sigh. "Without one piece, the rest are useless."

"I think I might leave." Lloyd whispers, and Kai's heart sinks, because he's been considering the exact same thing, but to hear his baby brother say it out loud is even more terrifying.

Leave. Leave the monastery, his friends, his family, his everything for so long. 

"Where will you go?" Kai asks, and says will, not would, because he can tell the green ninja's decision is made. If the monastery hurts, brings up painful memories at every step, stirs up tears welling at every sentence uttered, he'll go somewhere else.

 Somewhere, where it hurts less. 

 It makes sense, right?


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