Criminal Minds Series Rewrite: Season Two

Ashes and Dust: Part One

"The torture of a bad conscience is the hell of a living soul." - John Calvin

You're still a little out of it since your last outburst, but you feel like you have a handle on things a lot more than you did before. You and Spencer are a lot better, so you're just happy to have him in the same bed again. You wake up after a good night's sleep, but Spencer isn't next to you. His side of the bed is cold, so he's been up for a while. Wiping the sleep from your eyes, you get up and search for him.

He's in the living room playing chess with Hannah who seems to enjoy spending time with him. You love nothing more than Spencer getting to know your child, but you're trying to be okay with the fact that it's Hannah. You just have so much painful history with her, it's hard to get over it. She seems happy here, but you know for her sake, she needs to be with her aunt.

He is teaching her how to play the game, and you lean against the door frame to watch them. They're so peaceful as they play together, and for a second, you imagine what it would be like for you and Spencer to have your own kid. A child that you would share with Spencer who would be loved and would never have to fear anything.

Spencer looks up from the game and locks eyes with you, blushing that he got caught teaching her how to play.

"You're doing a great job, but I need to get ready for work."

Spencer leaves the board set up how it is, and he grabs the bag that has his work clothes in it so he can get changed. He kisses your cheek when he passes you, leaving you and Hannah alone.

"Let me guess, you have to go to work too?"

She grabs her orange juice and her half-eaten breakfast plate and brings it to the kitchen sink. She's been patient with you thus far, and you need to meet her in the middle, so he doesn't feel stuck here.

"I wanted to tell you I appreciate how patient you've been with me. I know I work all the time, and that gives us no bonding time, as you like to put it. So, when I come back, I want to take you somewhere. I want to show you that you can control what you see and what it means to see the things we do."

"Really?" she asks, her eyes lighting up.

"Yeah, why not?" You turn to head to your bedroom to get ready, but you pause in the doorway. "Oh, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if you went out and got some sun. There's a mall a few blocks down from here and a park."

She is already squealing in happiness at the thought of leaving your apartment.

"Just promise me that you'll use my number if you need it. I'm giving you a little bit of a leash. Don't choke me with it."

"You got it," she grins.

You head back into your room to get ready, working simultaneously with Spencer to leave in twenty minutes. Seeing Hannah smile stirs some unusual feelings inside of you that you don't quite know yet. You're happy that she's happy, but you're more like the fun aunt that can give her back to her parents when you're done at the end of the day. You and Spencer finish getting ready and head to the car. He is the first out of your apartment, and you pause next to Hannah who is doing her hair with your wallet in your hand.

"Here is a few hundred dollars. I won't be back until the end of the week, so this should get you through until Friday. Go buy new clothes. See a movie. Don't get into any trouble."

"Thank you," she smiles and accepts the money.

You nod and leave her alone, heading to the car to meet Spencer.

"Seems like she's growing on you," Spencer comments as you both get inside.

"It's a little more complicated than that. I'm just trying to make good on a bad situation."