Lie To Yourself

35

"So Brooke, do you have a boyfriend?" My mother pried despite me telling her to be on her best behaviour.

"Mum she's gay." I interrupted to try and avoid Brooke telling uncomfortable. At that my mum went bright red, embarrassed and wanting the ground to swallow her whole.

"Oh really? Well I love the gays. I supported Tom Daley at the Olympic and I always love Claire Balding on Cruffs. I even had my own lesbian experience at college so you don't need to worry about me love" woah woah woah. But before I could enquire.

"You had a lesbian experience?" My dad piped up. My dad wasn't a man of many words. He was tall, with shaggy brown hair and glasses. He was a software coder by trade and in tern he was always thinking and not always in the moment. So for him to pick up on this, either pissed him off, or a more frightening thought, turned him on.

"Yeah! Don't sound so shocked. Me and Carley once got chatted up by a lesbian when we were out drinking at college." My mum talked us through her story as she tucked in to her dinner.

"Mum that doesn't count as a lesbian experience." Brooke and I laughed as we looked at one another. My mum looked genuinely disappointed and I'd worried that I'd offended her. "But if you enjoyed it that's all that matters. Plus I'm sure she was really into you" I added hoping to soften the burn.

"Thank you Katie. I'd like to think so." She carried on chewing on her dinner. "Do your family know that you like girls?" And I gave her daggers but I was jealous that I didn't have the 'balls' to ask her that question.

"Mum!" I warned.

"Katie it's okay..." Brooke looked at me with eyes that had pain in them "my mum and dad do know that I'm gay. My dad died when I was 18, he had a car accident with a drunk driver and had died before anyone could help him. I came out to him a couple of weeks before he died and he was so supportive." Brooke paused to take a gulp of wine and I placed my hand subtly on her knee so that only us knew. "My mum on the other hand doesn't really approve of me being gay. I'm not sure whether she thinks it's because she won't get a grandchild or a traditional wedding I'm not sure but she makes her feelings very clear." I tightened my grip on her knee and she looked at me almost with a weight having been lifted from her shoulders.

"Oh love I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to pry." My mum put her food down and gave Brooke an apologetic smile, almost like she was trying to make up for Brooke's family tragedy. "You know that you are always welcome here"

The rest of dinner was, thankfully uneventful. My brother decided that he wouldn't grace us with his presence which  is probably for the best as he's a teenage drama queen at the moment. We had pudding, said our goodbyes to my parents and my mum hugged Brooke as she left, taking her aback.

"Thank you, for taking me with you." Brooke slipped her hand and intertwined her fingers as we walked back to the car.

I said nothing, but I was hoping that action of action in holding hands with her said everything we needed to.

We had a longer drive ahead of us as we had agreed I would take Brooke home after dinner at my mums, as she'd need to be at work tomorrow. The drive was filled with music, laughing and telling stories from our childhood.

As I pulled up to Brooke's house I pulled across the road just 100m from her house.

"Thank you for bringing me home. I had the best weekend ever. Because of you." I looked at Brooke as she spoke to me. Wanting to never leave her.

"You are most welcome. Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course baby" she looked at me inquisitively.

"Are you mad that Tim back out his deal with Tony?" Id been wanting to ask her all weekend. Ultimately him pulling out could mean that Brooke looses her job and that's my fault.

"Why on earth would I be mad with you? It's not you that fucked up, it was me. Plus Tony is an absolute dick anyway, he didn't deserve the help." Brooke tilted my chin up to look at her and landed a gentle kiss on my nose.

I took it upon myself to launch at her, enveloping her in a huge cuddle! I didn't want to leave her at all!

"Do you promise me you will text me everyday?" I murmured into her neck.

"You try and stop me." I could feel her laughing against my own neck.

After saying our goodbyes the drive home was much more depressing than the one there.