Lie To Yourself

17

"Katie? Katie? Katie?" I could hear a voice as my hair was being stroked. What a lovely dream, it feels so good to have my hair stroked.

"Katie?" The voice was getting louder bringing me back round to my senses. I slowly opened my eyes. Oh fuck.

"Brooke? What's up?" What time was it? Was everything okay?

"Yeah yeah don't panic, I just really need a wee hahah" she said indicating that she couldn't move because of me being laid on her.

"Oh shit sorry, I sprang back on the couch off her and retreated to my corner"

Brooke pottered off to the bathroom and I headed to the bedroom, closing the door, needing just a few moments on my own to gather what had happened. Had anything happened, no not really but I felt like some unknown weight was slowly becoming smaller.

I checked my phone, 6:30, and an email from Tim asking for a meeting with him today..

"Ah shit" I said to myself, the realisation hitting that id fucked up.

I started to get myself ready for work, brushing my long blonde messy hair into a neat high bun and putting on a little makeup to cover up the dark circles rapidly forming around my eyes. I decided to wear my white blazer dress with heels today. I was always brought up to dress good if you feel rubbish. I don't know the logic in it but it's always worked so far for me!

I walked back through to the kitchen to find Brooke just doing her laces up on her high heeled boots.

"You look lovely! Definitely not hungover" Brooke smiled at me as she looked up from her boots.

"Thank you, I like your shoes"

"Haha you are funny" Brooke didn't look up from her shoes this time.

I walked into the kitchen, grabbed myself some salad from the fridge and quickly rustled Brooke and I some lunch for work.

"You didn't need to make me some lunch"

"Who's saying I did? This is for Tim"

"Oh shit I'm sorry" I looked up and laughed at her!

"Brooke I'm joking, you should have seen your face, it was bright red" I held onto my sides laughing at myself.

"That's not funny! Plus you owe me lunch...I didn't have lunch yesterday because I thought I'd annoyed you" oh brill Brooke nice way to bring down the mood.

"I'm sorry!" Again! I don't think I've ever said sorry this much in my entire life!

"It's okay, you can make it up to me by letting me buy us a takeaway tonight"

"Deal-if we can have Chinese?"

"Fine deal" Brooke held out her hand to cement our agreement and we headed out of the door to work.

I stopped off at the drive through Starbucks for a coffee to soak up my hangover and make me feel more human and also bought one for Tim to try and negate his mood with me today. It's more than justified. I'm not going to tell him what I was actually doing but he's going to be furious nonetheless.

Walking up the stairs to Tim's office and my heart started beating out of my chest. I never get told off, I never got a detention at school. I didn't even really get told off as a child.

"Katie, I can hear your heels, get in here NOW" oh god he's mad. Really fucking mad.

"Hi Tim" I said closing the door behind me and placing his coffee on his desk.

"Would you be so kind as to explain to me why the fuck you went MIA yesterday? And why I have clients complaining that despite ringing you numerous times and leaving messages they didn't get a callback?"

"Erm well, firstly I brought you a cof..."

"Katie I don't give a shit about a coffee, answer my question or it will be a formal warning"

"Okay, I'm really sorry. I had a lot going on yesterday hence why I was in the office so early, and I had such a bad headache to the point that I could barely see my screen. I know it was wrong to leave and I know I should have texted you but you didn't seem in the best mood yesterday morning and I didn't want to stop you being able to go to your lunch" I was really trying to hold back the tears, I hate thinking people are mad at me.

"Make sure it doesn't happen again, I've left a pile of stuff to be done on your desk."

"Can I be excused now?" I asked meekly.

"Yes. Go"

I paced back to my desk, brushing past Brooke on her way to the training room but if I stop to talk to her she will ask if I'm okay and then I will cry and I'm not sure that I could stop!

I sat at my desk taking deep breaths and biting my lip to stop the tears streaming down my cheeks.

I tried to keep myself busy that morning, throwing myself into the admin Tim had assigned and catching up on emails from yesterday. Once I'd caught up on emails I started on the phone calls. I rang my voicemail and saw Tim coming towards my office as I started listening. I pretended to talk into the phone just so that I could postpone another reprimand from him. I don't think I could cope with 2 in 1 day.

Tim saw me through the glass, clocked on an just held his phone up signalling he'd text me.

I hung up from my voicemail and saw a text from Tim. Do I dare open it? Am I sacked? Oh grow a pair Katie.

Tim Clark:
I forgot to say, thank you for the coffee.

Oh thank the lord. Maybe I just need to keep my head down today and then it'll all blow over tomorrow.

I started organising Tim's calendar for next week. Scheduling in meetings and catch up lunches for him with our most important customers.

Just as I was coming to the end of my task I heard a small knock on my door. Is it Tim? Would he be okay now?

"Come in!" I shouted with caution.

Brooke walked in with a tray of juice, my lunch, and some biscuits.