Lie To Yourself

16

I was hot, and sticky and the whole room was turning. It was still dark outside, what time is it I thought as I scrambled to find my iphone.

3am!!! Oh brilliant, I rolled over and almost hit Brooke in the face. Oh shit, I'd forgotten I fell asleep on her after admitting I'd heard her having sex and enjoyed it! I creeped out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. I turned the light on and just looked at the ghost like figure staring back at me in the mirror. I looked shit. I felt worse.

What am I supposed to do now? I just stared at my reflection with my hands resting on either side of the sink. Should I sleep on the couch? I think it would be more respectful for Brooke if I slept on the couch.

I tiptoed across to the living room and laid myself on the couch and pulled the comforter over me. I flicked through the television, there was no way I was going o sleep again now.

Should I speak to Brooke about it when she wakes up? I might just pretend that I don't remember what I was saying, I mean I did drink a disgusting amount of vodka last night. I clacked my lips together still the faint alcohol taste in the back of my mouth.

Just as I was starting to rationalise and come up with a plan for avoidance I heard light foot steps coming across the hallway.

"Room for a little one?" Brooke said carrying my duvet in her arms.

"Sure" I moved my legs up for her to sit next to me. Brooke sat up and held her arms out for me to lean in and lay on her.

"I don't know Brooke, I'm not sure I should be."

"Katie, just think of it as using me as a cushion. Laying on me doesn't make you gay" Brooke was still holding out her arms.

"I didn't say I wasn't gay, or that there's anything wrong with it. To be honest with all the vodka I'm not 100% sure what I did say."

"Haha you didn't say anything offensive if that's what you're worried about. Now, I'm going to try and get another hour, you can decide to lay on my very comfortable body or you can stay sat upright and have a sore neck aswell as a hang over tomorrow" Brooke was messing with me.

Without a word, I went against my instincts and leaned into her, tucking my knees under my body. Why does this feel so right?

"I am sorry though Brooke, I think I said it when I was drunk but I am really sorry. I didn't mean to listen to you or be horrible to you like that. You don't deserve to be treated badly because I'm a ball of confusion"

"A ball of confusion?" Brooke looked down at me smiling.

"Ya know what I mean. When you're really confused and nothing makes sense. When things that shouldn't feel right do."

"Like cuddling me? Or listening to me have sex?" Brooke questioned.

"Exactly" I said as we both sat in a comfortable silence from there on out.