Lie To Yourself

27

"Katie, can you come here please?" Oh no Tim, I can't I'm not in the mood to have a conversation.

But as I said negative in my head, my feet headed towards Tim's office.

"Hey" I said as nonchalantly as I could manage.

"Woah, what the hell happened to you? Sit down, close the door" I'm confused?

"What do you mean?" I aired my confusion.

"Well, either you've developed an allergy overnight or you've been crying?" Fuck, fuck you tim.

"If I say allergy will you believe me?" I lied.

"Considering that Brooke handed me a note denying anymore training this morning, and I thought you were sort of getting on, I'm thinking it's too much of a coincidence that you've developed an allergy" Tim said, whilst he pressed me. He didn't sound forceful, just caring.

"Please don't make me answer that."  I could fill my eyes refilling with the tears from last night. My water to body ratio must be very low now.

"Talk to me Katie. What happened? You know you can tell me anything"

"I err...I err I thought she was gay" I muttered between tears.

"I don't know if I follow?" Tim looked genuinely confused.

"Me and Brooke. We slept together, I didn't know why at first but when I did it made sense. It made sense to me as to why I'd never held on before. She held me all night and I'd never let anyone do that. Then my friend Luke, you know the one that we had something casual?"

"Err yes I know"

"Well he needed to sleep on my couch because his mum had kicked him out for having sex with a girl on their kitchen table. So I let him stay, like the fucking idiot I am. After our meetings yesterday Bob had told me that he'd not seen Brooke that day. So I err went home."

"And?"

"And I found them, fucking on my sofa."

"Oh shit. Katie."

"Please don't. I'm a fucking idiot."

"Why are you an idiot? You let your guard down, and they hurt you. I know you'll never admit it but you liked Luke. Even if not in the way you wanted to, he was your friend and he betrayed you. And Brooke. Well, you'd let her stay, you'd helped her here, and it seems like she knew just what to say." Tim seemed angry but peaceful at the same time. I wished I didn't have to have this conversation with someone who was like a father to me. But right now, he was the best thing I had. And I couldn't keep it in any longer.

"I just don't know who I'm more mad at. I can't really be that mad with Brooke because we weren't like dating but the way she held me I thought it was special. But Luke, he was supposed to be my friend, I've known him years."

"Katie, go home, I'm going to call Tony Logan. We're not helping them anymore. We've gone above and beyond and she's done this."

"Tim please don't tell Tony! I don't want to be used as an excuse"

"Oh don't you worry, I'm sure I'll think of another reason to end the deal. I'll just say I don't think Brooke was accountant material" and he smiled the most genuine smile at me. And In that moment. For the first time in a day, I didn't feel in so much pain.

"Thank you. I will take you up on that offer of going home. I didn't really sleep at all last night and I smashed a vase on my kitchen floor so I should probably tidy that up."

"You go do that. I'll see you on Monday"