Ever After High (Male Reader)

Reasonable Wonderlandians

When you called for the meeting to end, seeing as all you were getting was back and forth nonsense, Lizzie was so full of thoughts she forgot to shout “Off with your head!” before leaving the room. Lizzie knew bunnies.

She wouldn’t exactly say she liked them, they were much too fluffy and softish and un-hedgehog-y, but she was royally aware of them. At no point had she sensed a bunny in Apple and Raven’s room, despite the big-eared bouncer she’d seen with her eyes.

Lizzie’s stately walk down the corridor nearly tripped into a skip. A giddy kind of excitement wiggled inside her, as if her stomach were a bag of popcorn in midpop. Bandersnatches! Jubjub birds! Bunnies that are obsessed with clocks! Were some of her subjects wriggling their way out of Wonderland and flocking to their princess? She took a deep breath and heard an extra inhale besides her own.

Lizzie: It is unseemly to hide from your future queen.

Litty: Fine.

Kitty appeared out of thin air while you stepped out from behind a corner.

Kitty: Though I might have said ‘un seen ly.’

Lizzie: What happened to that bunny rabbit?

Y/N: You mean the clock-climbing mouse that had somehow been transformed into a bunny?

Lizzie: Yes! Don’t you care that you don’t know how it happened? I would like to know, and am troubled by the fact that I do not!

Kitty: Calm down, Princess Freak-Out. Now that you mention it, I’m troubled, too.

Y/N: I think we all are. This isn't right.

Unbeknownst to the Wonderlandians (except for Kitty, who can hear this narration right now but pretends not to), both Lizzie and Kitty had just used the word troubled for the first time in their lives.

Kitty: Grrrr....

Maddie was on her way to find a place that needed to be hopped on. But upon overhearing the Narrator mention things of a troubling nature, she hurried back down the hall to her fellow Wonderlandians.

Madsie: I’m concerned!

Maddie then immediately covered her mouth.

Maddie: Oh no! It’s happening to me, too!

Lizzie: What is?

Maddie: I said I’m concerned. Not ‘kilter-tipped’ or ‘taut-hearted’ or even ‘wormy-worried’! ‘Concerned’ is even worse than ‘troubled’! It’s Ever Afterlish! It’s boring!

She whispered now, hand to the side of her mouth.

Maddie: It’s bland, heart-sapping plain-talk!

Kitty shrugged.

Kitty: It’s not unlikely that enough time spent in a different place would introduce drift in your natural speech patterns.

Kitty’s eyes went wide, and then she, too, covered her mouth.

Y/N: Wait a spell. Are you three thinking....logically?

Maddie: See! You said ‘introduce drift....’

Kitty interrupted.

Kitty: Don’t repeat it!

Maddie: It.

Lizzie/Kitty: Not it!

And with that simple bit of madness, they realized all was not lost.

Maddie: That’s a relief. The Narrator just said we realized all was not lost. Now we need to find what actually is lost, and then everything will be fine again.