With or Without

16. Tong

I stood up abruptly earning everyone's attention. "I'll just get another pitcher."

I was more unsteady on my feet than I expected but that had more to do with fatigue than with alcohol. I really wanted to lie down. But I still needed to talk to Pok and I couldn't do it there. Not with everyone watching. It had grown dark and I looked around hoping to find a secluded spot where I could tell him it was over.

"Could you take this to that table?" Pok asked the waiter when I would have picked up the pitcher to carry it to our table. The waiter complied and I was left standing with him. "You need to come with me."

"But the guys...?"

"Forget about them. I don't think they'll notice a bomb going off five metres away from them." He said looking back at the table.

Phai and Sandee were leaning against each other while Galae and Saab did the same. They were a lot less energetic but they were still sipping their drinks and chatting like it was perfectly normal. The only trouble is that they were all talking gibberish. The slurred words making no sense at all even though they stopped and responded like they all knew what the other was saying.

I must have been drunker than I thought because I hadn't even noticed. "You think they'll be okay if we leave them like that?"

"It's not like this is their first time. I'll tell them to get their asses home. Galae will take care of Saab and I know Sandee will take care of Phai."

"Okay." I agreed with Pok. That meant I only had to get myself back to my dorm—after. "Can we talk?"

"Is that what you want to do?" Pok asked stepping into my personal space.

I stepped back only to bump into a table. "What are you doing?"

"Do I need to draw you a diagram?"

"This is a public place."

"Right." Grabbing my hand, he dragged me away. I had just enough time to say a quick goodbye to the guys and pick up my book bag before Pok had us out of the pub. He was determined and I knew nothing I said would deter him from his intent. Not when he had that stubborn look on his face. I let him drag me all the way back to his dorm room. It was as private a place to talk as any so I didn't resist him.

"You're done with your exams, right?" He asked, crowding me, putting his hands on my shoulders, pushing me back against the wall gently.

"Yeah...I had my last paper earlier." I answered evenly. It wasn't easy with him pressing his lips to my cheek. Teasing my earlobe with his mouth then his teeth. "Pok..."

"Tong..." he moaned into my ear. "You don't have to leave early? You can stay?"

They sounded like questions but they were really statements. His mouth on my neck making it hard to figure out if I needed to answer him. His nimble fingers making quick work of my clothes. Each fastening was undone before I could mount a protest.

"I've missed you."

Me? Was he confusing me for someone else? His hands over my crotch touching me intimately. Feeling the hardness of my cock. Earning a gasp and moan from me when he stroked it through my many layers of clothing over and over again.

"It looks like you missed me too," he said knowingly.

"But I'm not the right one, am I?" It took him a moment to understand what I was saying. What I never thought I would have the courage to say out loud.

"What?"

"I mean, you have someone else. Someone you like. Isn't that what everyone has been telling me?"

"I didn't think you'd hear the rumours." I hated the sly smile on his face.

"P'X was very happy to let me know you'd found someone else." I didn't mention that he'd tried to use it as a way to get me to walk away from Pok. "He said, you finally saw the light and tossed me over. I just don't understand why you didn't tell me."

I hadn't intended to cry. I wanted to be stoic and unaffected but I also wanted him to want me. Not some other person who was probably perfect for him in all the ways I had disappointed him. To be the one he chose.

"I'm sorry. I have to go."

I tried to pull out of his embrace but he pulled me back. Holding my face and looking at me even as I tried to turn away and keep my eyes averted. He kissed me. I was trying to keep my distance, safeguard what little dignity I still had, but I kissed him back. Holding him tight while our mouths moved over each other. Devouring him. Taking what he was giving me because I didn't know if I would ever have this again.

He pulled away and there was that smile again. The one that told me he was loving this. Loving how off-balance I was. I hated him for it.

"Please let me go." I was leaning against the wall. Trying to catch my breath. My hand on his chest. Not pushing, but not letting him get any closer. My clothes were a mess. My shirt, open all the way, the fabric hanging off my arm on one side where he'd exposed my shoulder to his seeking mouth. My fly was open but still held in place by the natural curve of my hip.

I would have to let go of him to button up but I knew he would use that opportunity to derail me. So, I begged for the reprieve. "I just want to go back to my room. I promise I won't cause any more trouble.

"That's it? You're not going to ask me who it is? You're not even going to try and fight for me?"

"Would it make a difference?" If there was any point to it, wouldn't it have worked by now?

"Maybe if you tried..." He started.

Only instead of finishing his statement, he put his hand on my hip. I renewed my attempt at pushing him away. In a move I'd never seen him use before, he let me push him back. He stepped back, just beyond arms reach then came back into my space before I could get the same position.

His hands were on my hips. Pulling down my trousers. Then I felt the elastic of my underwear give as he pulled the two garments down together. I was trying to get my hands on his chest but he was too close and I couldn't get the leverage. Then he undid all my plans by dropping to his knees at the same time he pulled my clothes down to reveal my arousal.