Magic Shop- Park Ji-min 박지민

Chapter 12: With You

Now I'm in the dark
Will we meet in our dreams
Breaking my heart
Here we are apart
I wanna stay near you

Jimin's POV

Alcohol is a good way of hiding current problems from the surface. I know alcohol as basically an old friend. Is that healthy no, but it was the only way to not cry at night. 

Jae, my love, my angel, why can't you trust me again. We were doing so well. I worked so hard to protect you. You won't answer my calls, all I know is that you are working. I know it was scary for you but the situation for me was also scary. Jaehwa let me know we are not apart. I don't want to be apart from you. I couldn't dare think of loving anyone but you. I don't mean to sound possessive or desperate, but with you I am. I love you and you have my whole heart no one else could ever own that in this lifetime we have together. I know destiny exists because I know I am to love you and no one else in this world. It just sucks that our careers we love also come with risky territories. I know when we became public fans would be jealous but I never knew having you with me on tour early would put you at risk as well. 

This was constantly my thoughts and messages to her. When I would get too drunk Taebae would take care of me. He would make sure I wouldn't post anything or do anything drastic, such as purchase a plane ticket home. He would make sure I would go to sleep at night. Some nights Yoongi would come drinking with me and so would Jungkook to make sure I didn't black out drink in public. Joonie would make sure practices that I wouldn't get too hungover. Hobi would stay with me at night when Tae couldn't and he made sure I stayed hydrated and wouldn't get injured while dancing. Jin made sure I ate, they all took care of me and made sure I looked my best for army. Lyn would let me know any information she would get about Jae and how she was doing. 

Was anyone letting Jae know how I was doing? Was anyone taking care of her they way I was being taken care of? Was she as distraught as I was? I hope not because this feeling sucks worst then sh*t. I wouldn't want her to feel this way she was too much of an angel to feel this way. What sucks the most is this is my fault I got her in this danger. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to do this again. But I still want her, I love her my angel of music. 

What sucks the most is Yoongi is mopey as well without Lyn beside him and that is my fault as well. I asked Lyn to travel back with her to take care of her as much as she could before she went back to work. But now both me and Yoongs get to hear and see Jin talk all about Jangmi, and see them together. They are more private with their interactions then I was with Jae, or Yoongs with Lyn. But we could have all been happy and have all three of our girls, but I was stupid to trust people seeing me and Jae out at the restaurant and risked her getting harmed and drugged. 

How could she ever trust army? The one fan ruined my happiness and her trust in myself to protect her from the one people that supposedly care about me. 

The New York concerts went by without me paying attention. The end of concerts and the concerts in total just felt like I was hungover the whole time, or was drunk the whole time. I couldn't remember even how the stadium looked like. I was not Jimin there I don't know who was there in my place because I did not feel like I was there the whole time. Its all my fault for that as well, I know I must of disappointed army. I know I was a burden to all the guys as well. I don't even remember how or who I was when I met Jangmi. 

Eventually I somehow regain conscious when we got back to South Korea. As soon as we landed it seemed we all went separate places. Yoongi went to find Lyn, Hobi went to the studio for some reason. Tae and Jungkook went to play video games and relaxed, Jin and Jangmi went to the dorm. Joon patted my back and went to see his family. I had the ability of being in the same country as my love finally. I dropped my stuff off at the dorm. Then headed to the studio to see if she was working on music. My heart was racing I was finally sobering up to see her beautiful face, hear her voice. I don't care if we are talking or she is yelling at me. I walked through the building finding her studio. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. She opened the door her eyes wide seeing me.