-If Only- Jaeyong

Chapter 28:No Longer

Jaehyun was slowly withering away.

Till now, everything he had built up had come crumbling down. 

His feelings were all drowned. No way of resurfacing. 

It had been a week since the outburst with Taeyong and they stopped talking or even interacting with each other. Even though Taeyong would be over at Jaehyun's house, he would solely stay in Yuta's room and only come once in a while.

There would be times where they were the only person in the house and Jaehyun wanted to talk things out with Taeyong so badly. He had half the heart to approach him but he couldn't bring himself to as he would just ignore him.

"Is this what you wanted?" Taeyong asked when Jaehyun bumped into him during a bathroom session in the middle of the night. Taeyong's voice tried to be firm but it wavered as his eyes were full of emotions.

Jaehyun wanted to say no. 

He wanted to apologize and say how sorry he was but he only maintained a few seconds of eye contact with Taeyong and walked away in silence.

The thing was, Jaehyun knew the ending before he started that story with Taeyong. He knew how it would all play out.

Did he regret it?

He hated to say it but he did.

 He did regret it. 

He regretted it so much to the point where he wish he could turn back time so he could stop both Taeyong and him from tangling into the web of lies, guilt, stress and broken hearts. 

Was it worth it?

The same question that Jaehyun asked to himself every night as he lied in his bed alone. 

Was it worth it for him to go through this pain all over again just to feel loved?

Although the fire in his heart rose up from the ashes and burned intensely it was later on killed and washed over by his own feelings, never to be lit again.

The faint scent of freesia lingering in the bedsheet was a bitter reminder of Taeyong as he closed his eyes and immersed himself into the memories that one took place there, savoring each and every moment.